Thursday, July 23, 2009

North Korea's catty bitchiness offensive

So Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is away in Thailand, meeting with world leaders at a conference for Southeast Asian nations. When asked about North Korea she gave the standard US answer about stopping their nuclear proliferation, getting them back to the negotiating table, and concerns that they were trading nuclear secrets with Myanmar/Burma. Instead of responding with a typical statement about US imperialism or a story about Kim Jong-Il bench pressing a Panzer tank, the North Korean delegation decided to respond with some catty, childish, bitchiness. Not just symbolically this time, I think they actually found a bitchy 13 year old school girl and had her write up a response.
The war of words between North Korea and the United States escalated Thursday, with North Korea's Foreign Ministry lashing out at Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton in unusually personal terms for "vulgar remarks" that it said demonstrated "she is by no means intelligent."
...
"We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community," a Foreign Ministry spokesman said, according to North Korean media. "Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping."
Oooh, burn! Oh snap Hill-Dawg, how you gonna respond? You aren't going to take this lying down, are you? Luckily she totally went there and told everyone "[North Korea] have no friends left" and alluded to the fact that Kim Jong-Il is a tubby bitch who looks like an old lesbian. This stems from earlier comments she made where she compared North Korea to a small child or unruly teenager who wanted attention, and that he solution was "...don't give it to them, they don't deserve it, they are acting out." She then took off her pumps and threatened to "fuck up a bitch if I have to." This caused a representative from Indonesia to wag his finger in the air and say "Oh no you didn't!"

It's great the the most diplomatically childish nation on Earth always has the huevos to talk about international etiquette and the "offensive" uttering of rhetoric. I mean their response to this will probably be an official statement saying "don't call me a bitch, bitch", followed by the catapulting of a metal tube into the ocean and declaring it a missile launch, and then they'll irradiate some gophers with some uranium they strapped to dynamite and buried underground. I can imagine Kim Jong-Il riding down his waterslide, old lady sunglasses on, in the sitting position, arms crossed, and a sullen look on his face, angry that his country is in danger of losing an international dozens contest. But just in case you were wondering: yes Virginia, international relations with North Korea can get more childish. Wait until Kimbo starts up with a second round of pranks.

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