Gates is the insect king

Well, we were almost there. A milestone. We almost had one of the richest men in the world turn cartoonish supervillain on us. In front of a group of his peers, colleagues, and underlings, Bill Gates almost released a deadly animal into the room to kill the audience for their insolence. Except he chickened out.

Microsoft founder turned disease-battling philanthropist Bill Gates loosed mosquitoes at an elite Technology, Entertainment, Design (TED) Conference to make a point about the deadly sting of malaria.

"Malaria is spread by mosquitoes," Gates said while opening a jar onstage at a gathering known to attract technology kings, politicians, and Hollywood stars.

"I brought some. Here I'll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected."

Gates waited a minute or so before assuring the audience the liberated insects were malaria-free.

I can just imagine the room reaction. Unease, followed by impending horror. Tony Robbins turns to Michael Eisner and asks if he's sure Bill is just fucking around. Philippe Starck makes his peace with God. Al Gore screams out "This maniac is trying to kill us all". Paul Allen looks into Bill's eyes to see if he has that crazy glazed over look like he did when he bashed that hookers head open in '83. The Bill tell them it's all a hilarious joke and they all laugh nervously while texting their bankers to cancel donations to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Can one of you billionaires stop buying sports teams for a second and just kill a room of people to make a point about a global disease or problem? Then flee to your mountain fortress and threaten to launch nukes unless world leaders meet you demands of curing rheumatoid arthritis or upping child literacy levels? It would take some of the edge off the impending world economic collapse.