Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The non-state of the union

Barry gave his pseudo SotU last night and there was much rejoicing. He confused America by appearing calm, collected, rational and he baffled us by talking to us as if we were adults and explained his plans and reasoning to us in much the same way. After eight years of "They hate your freedom. We are awesome" goo goo gaga childspeak it was at time horrifying and confusing. If he talks to us like we're adults, then don't we have to act like adults? Terrible. Barry talked about the economy, jobs, energy, bipartisanship, greed, torture, health care, and about messing with Joe Biden. There were 37 standing ovations and 65 applause breaks. Additionally someone installed an electric shocker on Nancy Pelosi's seat, causing her to jolt up excitedly after every sentence the President completed. 30,000 volts in the anus makes you excited about change.

The early review are in and Obama won the speech overwhelmingly or something. People liked it as both Democrats, Independants, and Republicans gave him high marks for the speech, the issues it addressed, and applying electrical shocks to Congressional members. Barry apparently killed it on taxes, Iraq, and the deficit. While some are even saying that the pre and post polling saw a 14 point jump in his popularity. Which is all meaningless as I can't remember there ever being a SotU that people came away hating. Talk is cheap, let's see if he can actually live up to the words. Furthermore this will hardly make a difference with Republicans he has to win over in the House or Senate, as the polling was not done of people from the 1950's.

Then there was Louisiana Governor and part-time exorcist Bobby Jindal's response. In his defense these are usually terrible.....and his was as well. He decided to take the opposite path Obama did, talking to us as if we were five year olds. Slow five year olds who couldn't realize that his speech was the same one Republicans have been giving since time immemorial. Government is the problem, we trust the people, tax cuts, Reagan, boo liberalism, volcano monitoring is for suckers, government is the problem. Maybe not the volcano thing. He also somehow tried to use Hurricane Katrina against the black Democrat President. Points for effort. He also talked like Kenneth from 30 Rock. When the words 'amateurish', 'laughable', and 'awkward' are thrown around, you know you've just springboarded to the top of the GOP's 2012 list. Someone's going to have to out hokey, out religious, and out folksy Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal thinks he's the man to do it. Godspeed.

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