Sense that distinct lack of snark this morning? Apparently god sent a little low-pressure pelvic thrust through the Pittsburgh area and Matthew has been without power for several hours now. While the official story is something about "severe thunderstorms" and "92 mph wind gusts" and "downed power lines," I'm pretty sure it's Zombies.
Look for Matthew to emerge from the wastelands in about six months. He'll be wearing a suit of tattered leather stained with the blood of the vanquished, a machete in one hand and a sack of human heads in the other. He'll have become Matthewsamus, great Warrior-King of the Midwestern Tribes, ruler of all he surveys, master of the Allegheny sodomites.
We will point at him and laugh.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
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