Friday, February 27, 2009

Cheap Blogging Crutch 2.27

Anti-Scientology...Infomercials?
This is a story of one man. One man and his failed career as a comic, his third rate Kentucky Fried Movie wannabe, a Church of Scientology bankroll, financial ruin and attacks from the CoS, redemption in the form of an absorbent towel, and a ShamWow funded war against Scientology. Vince the ShamWow guy, our personal hero of the day.

Obama Budget Includes Funding Boost for NASA
AstroBase Go! Combined with the stimulus package NASA is getting an extra $2.4 billion to destroy satellites and not build me a moon chateau. On the other hand it makes plans to move away from the shuttle, finish the International Space Station, further non-exploding monitoring of climate change, build a robot that will dent and graffiti Chinese and Russian satellites and spacecraft, and a plan to bury Neil Armstrong's bones on the moon by 2020.

Growing hate groups blame Obama, economy
Ever wondered what marginalized, fringe, racist hate groups are feeling about the economy and President Obama? No, right? Because you can already guess what they're going to say? Yeah, I thought so. Still, for the five of you who would be surprised, CNN went and asked anyway. Turns out they're sympathetic to Obama and the problems he inherited, they just hope that he'll increasing spending on programs for students and people living in rural poor areas, seeing as achievement levels are mostly a result of the poverty level whether in the inner city or the sticks. No, just kidding. They hate his black ass and blame him for everything. Plus there's some analysis on how the economy is going to probably swell their ranks and increase the amount of shit they build into crosses and swastikas and set on fire.

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?
Hey, remember that guy who killed 3,000 Americans and then got off scot free? Obama something something? Well it turns out some people are still concerned that he's still breathing and planning attacks with al Qaeda. The people at Foreign Policy magazine have gone to the trouble of bringing us MIT scientist Thomas Gillespie's biogeographic data information and his mathematical model for where bin Laden should be. Unsurprisingly it's on the Afghan/Pakistan border, Kurram province to be specific. The town of Parachinar to be exact. N. 33.901944° E.70.093746° to be precise. Though his map does say there is a 10% change bin Laden is in Japan or France. Anyone up for a look?

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