Friday, February 20, 2009

Thanks for the breaking news, science

Ladies, I'm sorry to tell you that science has gone out a proven something you probably already knew: men like boobies. Not only that, but a glimpse of them causes the part of our brain that is usually reserved for tool use and first-person action verbs. Action verbs! In an even creepier finding of the study, people who are classified as "hostile sexists" don't even register scantily clad women as humans with thoughts or intentions.

Bikinis Make Men See Women as Objects, Scans Confirm
Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with tool use lights up.

Men were also more likely to associate images of sexualized women with first-person action verbs such as "I push, I grasp, I handle," said lead researcher Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University.

And in a "shocking" finding, Fiske noted, some of the men studied showed no activity in the part of the brain that usually responds when a person ponders another's intentions.

This means that these men see women "as sexually inviting, but they are not thinking about their minds," Fiske said. "The lack of activation in this social cognition area is really odd, because it hardly ever happens."
Yeah...uh...about that...uh.....sorry. Yeah, on behalf of men as a gender, sorry. In fairness, it's only some men....and Sean, not all or even most. Our brains make us do it...or the patriarchy, I'm not totally sure on this one. Or, judging by the NG headline, the bikinis themselves make us do it, because clothing is self-aware and has power over thought now. It has something to do with patterns, fabric material, particles, tachyons, and mind control. Bikinis are evidently Skynet.

Again, sorry, and if you...IT'S ALL SEAN'S FAULT!!! I TOLD HIM NOT TO OBJECTIFY WOMEN IN THE MEDIA AND SOCIETY BUT HE DID ANYWAY!!! *sound of running, frantic opening of car door, car engine starting, and screeching tires*

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