Notes on your culture

While over 400 years of evidence might suggest otherwise, occasionally your corporate masters do, in fact, get what they deserve.

(CNN) -- Denny's restaurants across North America were jammed Tuesday with patrons hungry to take advantage of the restaurant chain's Grand Slam breakfast giveaway.

Denny's announced in a commercial Sunday during the Super Bowl that it would give away its signature breakfast from 6 a.m. until 2 p.m. local time Tuesday at all its restaurants in the U.S., Canada and Puerto Rico.

Some patrons were still wearing their pajamas and slippers, and strangers were crowding together into booths, CNN affiliate KSL-TV in Salt Lake City, Utah, reported.

Thank you, America, for helping me through this cold, snowy February day. Just when I was ready to sink chest-high in the post-Super Bowl malaise of this idiotic, TPS Report life I've resigned myself to, you completely redeem me with kindling for the mental fire that condemns, with righteous fucking anger, anything involving sadly overweight people rubbing sweat stains whilst waiting for their latest dose of Moons Over My Hammy ®.