Tis' the season....for climate change skepticism

It's that time of year again, where some of us partake in time honored rituals fit for the season. Christmas? Hanukkah? Spiritual Literacy Month? Clerc-Gallaudet Week? The Saturnalia? No, bitching that because it is cold out climate change is a hoax and Al Gore is a mind controlling charlatan. Don't you saps see? I'm cold! It's cold out! There's nothing warming about cold! HOAX! Leading the charge this year are Roger Simon

Brrr… it’s cold outside here in LA - currently 34 degrees f...Every year around this time we all look at each other and say, “I can’t remember it ever being this cold.”... Still the global warming dispute goes on...If there’s ever been an argument with (excuse the metaphor) more heat than light, this is it. But what we often seem to have here is the AWG skeptics ironically in the role of Galileo with the liberal intelligentsia playing an ultra-conservative clergy led by Al Gore...Nevertheless, as I have said what feels like a zillion times, just because Al thinks something is so, doesn’t mean it isn’t.

and Deroy Murdock

Winter officially arrived with Sunday's solstice. But for many Americans, autumn 2008's final days already feel like deepest, coldest January...What are the odds of that? Actually, the odds are rising that snow, ice and cold will grow increasingly common. As serious scientists repeatedly explain, global cooling is here. It is chilling temperatures and so-called "global-warming."..."Global warming is over, and Global warming theory has failed. There is no evidence that CO2 drives world temperatures or any consequent climate change,"...As global cooling becomes more widely recognized, Americans from Maine to Malibu should feel comfortable dreaming of a white Christmas.

You can feel the intellectual rigor wafting off these pieces. "There was snow in someplace there hasn't been snow in a while. Game over Gore, you fuck! Warmth is warm, snow is cold!" You don't ever see these people chirp up when it's balls melting hot in the summer. Nor for that matter when scientists mention all that ice that's melting up north and blah blah blah C02 readings and catastrophe blah blah blah. You only get these deep think pieces quoting the five climate change skeptics with doctorates (in archaeology, astrology, and advanced Frinkonomics) when they realize it's gotten cold enough for them to churn out another piece of COLD~! brilliance. Here, let me have the fat lying charlatan explain it to you with maths+science:

Despite the fact that we had record-breaking October heat, apparently 2008 looks like it might be the coldest year in the past decade.

Of course, global warming denialists are loving this. They point out that not only is 2008 a cold year, but that there hasn’t been any statistically significant warming in the past decade if you consider that the record hot year of 1998 was caused by El Niño, a climate change refuge from Latin America.

But what I can tell you is that the denialists have it all wrong: we’re not talking about global warming anymore, we’re talking about climate change. As temperatures rise, the climate will change very rapidly and very unpredictably in all directions.

There are lots of ways that rising temperatures can produce colder temperatures.

Goreacle then provides examples and links to people's work that explains that, then drops some knowledge about statistical measuring models and DNA research. He even engages them on the intellectual level of "I feel cold, so this is all bullshit" too. These very cold people have been running our climate change policy for the past eight years. Comforting, no?

So instead of hanging stockings or exchanging gifts this year, we all need to partake in our new holiday tradition: abandoning science because we're chilly. We're all fucked anyway. See you in the sweater lines!