Tuesday, December 16, 2008

French Terrorpocalypse

If you've been to the Huffington Post recently you've no doubt seen their breathless coverage of the supposed French Terror attacks. Big banner headline, many pictures, multiple stories. You must have thought, like I did, that "the shit" was "going down" and there must have been some serious co-ordination to pull off both a bomb in a department store and an assassination attempt on Sarkozy. Is this the new 9/11? Is this the beginning of a co-ordinated terror campaign across Europe? Are chickens coming home and roosting?

No, no they aren't. The assassination attempt, such as it was, involved a man being pulled out of line at the front gates where it was found he was carrying a knife and a taser. Apparently trying to taser and stick Nick on that part of the tour where you get to meet the President. He should have snuck the knife in his shoe, got a press pass, and thrown it at Sarkozy. The bombing plot, such as it was, involved old sticks of dynamite with no detonator, bundled together and placed in a bathroom, and a call from the terrorist masterminds telling the police exactly where it was. The Interior Minister deemed "There was no risk of explosion". The group responsible wanted France to pull out of Afghanistan or "Otherwise we will go back into action in your big capitalist stores and this time without warning you", followed by a "You big meanies" before retiring to their retarded French Cal Berkeley equivalent.

Clearly 9/11 Part Deux, and worthy of breathless coverage and headlines. Are we back to hyping every nitwit with a harebrained scheme as the next bin Laden? Great. Someone bump up the alert color to orange or whatever color meant "shit yourself".

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