Thursday, December 11, 2008

McCain firesale

Now that the campaign is over, Johnny needs to get a little return on all that money he spent ruining his reputation and unleashing Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting populace. They've got some campaign debt to retire and everything needs to go. It's time for the McCain fire sale. Prices slashed to 36%! Among the items for sale:
  • Dell Latitude D820 laptop: $570.00.
  • Framed original memo telling McCain it would be a brilliant idea to suspend his campaign: $250.
  • RIM Blackberry 8700c: $30.00.
  • Last remaining shred of John McCain's dignity: $10.50.
  • "Ethics in Politics" textbook, never used: $40
  • A 55-cup steel coffee urn: $77.00.
  • Retching bucket (cleaned): $2.
  • A power strip: $1.
  • "McCain/Palin: We did it!" signs: 10 for $1.
  • Poorly spelled, racially tinged placards, confiscated from rallies: buy one get one.
  • Ethernet cables: $1 a pound.
  • White male prop baby: $11,000 or best offer. No slavers!
  • Leftover folksy bullshit from Palin speeches: $5.99 a pound, BYO Manure bag.
Anything not sold will be dumped in the Potomac.

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