I'm gonna be 26 year hiiiiiiiiiigh....as a kite

Weekly jobless claims jump to 26-year high

The number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless benefits surged to a 26-year high last week, Labor Department data showed on Thursday, as a deepening recession forced employers to cut back on hirings.

Initial claims for state unemployment insurance benefits jumped by 58,000, the biggest increase since September 2005, to a seasonally adjusted 573,000 in the week ended December 6 from an upwardly revised 515,000 the previous week. That was the highest print since November 1982, when 612,000 workers submitted new claims for unemployment benefits.

Lest you thought that every section of the economy wasn't careening off a cliff, on fire, passengers roasting as they plummet to their canyon floor death, these job numbers ought to set you straight. It's times like these where George Bush has just got to walk with a little more hop in his step and a little more straight backed than usual. He's a record setter! The Usain Bolt of failure. I used to wonder if he'd be remembered as the worst President ever, now I just wonder if every time someone says his name in the future, whether they'll curse, spit on the ground or both.

Coffee is obsolete, reading employment numbers each morning will give you the jolt that Colombian beans or pure uncut cocaine can't deliver.