Friday, December 12, 2008

Broken In Brief: Press to ask Obama non-Blagojevich-related question

WASHINGTON--In a surprise move, The White House Press Corps held a vote this morning and decided to ask President-Elect Barack Obama no fewer that two questions not explicitly related to disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

This tactic stands in stark contrast to that employed throughout the week, which consisted exclusively of repeated, unflinching inquiries into Obama's supposed relationship with Big Blag, all of which were met, day after fucking day, with a factually verified and surprisingly measured statement of disappointment and reassurance on the part of the President-Elect. What caused this change?

According to CNN correspondent Ed Henry, it happened with a phonecall. "So my wife called me up and told me that there was this huge economic crisis going on and that maybe I ought to get up off my lazy ass and ask something about that instead of fantasizing about The Untouchables. I confirmed this with another reporter and brought it to the attention of my colleagues."

Speaking from just outside the briefing room with traces of a scrumptious raspberry scone still clinging to his beard, Washington Post Senior White House correspondent Jeffrey Bead explained, "Listen, I can't argue with this morning's spread. Whole wheat waffles and yogurt for the interns and an omelette bar for the rest of us? Touchdown. Oh, you were asking about the journalism thing. What happened with that press conference anyway? I was ensconced in an orgy of egg, ham, onion, and green peppers."

Sources close to the conversation claim the lone dissenting vote came from FOXNews, which insisted that attempting to tie a petty shitstain around the neck of an otherwise skillful transition instead of focusing on, say, retained Defense Secretary Robert Gates' plan to send several thousand additional troops into Afghanistan, "made so much more sense in these times, where The People demand honest, straightforward leadership."

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