Friday, April 16, 2010

Holy Dong

Controversial crucifix creates rift at Warr Acres church
Churchgoers are outraged over a crucifix in a Catholic church that they say shows an image of genitalia on Jesus.
"There are a couple people who have left the parish,” said the Rev. Philip Seeton, the church’s pastor. "There are people in the parish who don’t like it and have stayed.”

Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus’ abdominal area. Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen "showing distension” — not a penis.
Janet Jaime, a local iconography artist who designed the crucifix, had no comment.
We must commend Ms. Jaime. It's not often you get a chance to do artistic work for the church, end up drawing a huge cock on the Lord, and then when Church leaders ask you what the dong shaped item coming out of Jeezey Creezy's britches is you have the wherewithal to say "Uh... it's... a... distended abdomen.... because of the... uh.... crucifixion... yeah, that's it" and the church leaders go "Oh, yes, naturally" and hang it up.

I mean what are the parishioners mad about? It is a Godly wang, worth of Diamond J himself. Did they want it made bigger? He was the Son of God, but let's not start defying the reasonable limits of what is possible on the human body.

I don't know what the outrage is about. I mean the Church and Christian offshoots in general have been so maniacally obsessed with other people's cocks for the past decade or so, I guess the artist just thought it'd be something they want their picture of the Lord to deal with as well. Plus it allows them to focus on something within the Catholic church that doesn't have anything to do with kids getting abused and molested and no one doing anything about it. Win win.

So if anyone ever wondered what the Lord's holy twig and berries looked like, we now have a Church sanctioned artist's conception. Now you see why we worship Him.

[via Towleroad]

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