Monday, April 19, 2010

Tea baggers jump the crazy shark

We like taking the piss out of tea baggers. Why? It is literally the easiest thing in the world to do. Well, maybe beating an infant or kicking a three legged dog is easier, but where do you get the smug sense of self satisfaction in doing that? But it is true we do like to mock their ignorance, misspelled signs, bizarre conspiracy theories, low grade racism, lack of understanding of their own issues, and fevered insanity because, well, they're just resetting the bat on unintentional comedy each time out.

But today we must pause to note the time, date, and place where the Tea Party movement jumped the crazy shark so hard that we even have to step back a bit to make sure this just isn't some well executed satire or parody. Which, if you read this site, know that we are unable to execute or identify. Let us count the horrors.
Former Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO) added, referring to President Obama: "If his wife says Kenya is his homeland, why don't we just send him back?"
Thanks Tom, for restraining yourself from screaming out the 'N" word. It must have been very hard. Still, "Send him back to Africa" is a nicely racist sentiment which ought to make people seriously consider the Tea Party's thoughts on tax law.
Pastor Stan Craig, of the Choice Hills Baptist Church, was particularly angry about the state of Washington, saying he "was trained to defend the liberties of this nation." He declared that he was prepared to "suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do."
Exploit religion for personal financial gain? Demonize minorities and gays in order to gain political power? Oh, you were talking about the gun part. Yeah, kill those duly elected members of Congress! Spoken like a true man of God. march on Washington, kill the interlopers, overthrow the government. Like it says in the Bible and Constitution.
Dan Gonzales, who Chairs the Constitution Party in Florida, asserted that "this is the end of America right here," and if the Tea Partiers "don't get to work we're going to be fighting in the streets."
Who knew that tepid health reform and the prospects of tepid financial reform and a tepid climate bill was all it took to end America? Still nice of him to warn that if they didn't act soon they'd be fighting it out in the street. That is unless they took the advice of several of the speakers of the day and got their guns, organized into militias and went to go fight it out on the streets. There's a subtle difference there I don't think many of you are getting.

At least Gonzales also added a crazy conspiracy about the Republicans, who he believes are all owned by the Rockefellers. Maybe I'm just longing for a more innocent time, but when was it that the Jews stopped secretly running everything? I didn't hear about this changeover form the Jews (in their secret underground bunker in Zurich) to the Rockefellers, who I'm not even sure own a bunker, let alone one 3 miles under a major banking hub.

But perhaps the best was from William Gheen of the Americans for Legal Immigration PAC who in between praising Barney Frank (GAY!) for being open (GAY!) and brave (IN A GAY WAY!) about who he is (GAY!) and letting people know where he stands (WITH MEN, BECAUSE HE'S GAY!), let loose on Lindsay Graham.
I'm a tolerant person. I don't care about your private life, Lindsey, but as our U.S. Senator I need to figure out why you're trying to sell out your own countrymen, and I need to make sure you being gay isn't it.
He's tolerant, he just wants to make sure that secret gayness isn't the reason that America is about to explode. Look, Lindsay Graham might me collaborating in the destruction of America and it might be secret gayness and gay brain parasites that are making him do so. It's an honest concern. He just needs to be sure.

Again, go to Talking Points Memo for the full rundown with video. Merely reading quotes about Pastor led armies overthrowing government, thinly veiled spear-chucker jokes, and the serious concerns over the damage Lindsay Graham's covert homosexuality is doing to the country, doesn't do them justice. This was the Coachella of teabag crazy, it's just a shame Bachmann and Palin couldn't be there to push it to a Woodstock level teabag event.

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