Wednesday, April 14, 2010

And Don't Forget to Remove ALL the Green M&Ms

By now you've likely come to understand the real reason Sarah Palin quit the Alaskan governorship: Straight cash, homey. Also, as Andrew Sullivan pointed out yesterday, making bank carries more weight in today's conservative movement than, say, successfully running a state government.

But what of the perks? One assumes Palin has access to all the warm pig bellies for her aching feet that she'd like. But thanks to a
group of dumpster diving California State University students, we now have a more comprehensive list of what, exactly, Palin expects should she grace your rally/university/gun club with her presence.
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – A document fished out of a California state university trash bin last week has prompted a state investigation into the university's foundation arm and its refusal to disclose details related to Sarah Palin's upcoming speech at the school.


The contract detailed the former Alaska governor's requirements for her visit, including first-class flights from Anchorage to California — if she flies commercial. If not, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger ...," the contract specifies.
Also specified in the contract:
  • Palin also must be provided with a suite and two single rooms in a deluxe hotel.
  • During her speech, her lectern must be stocked with two water bottles and bendable straws.
  • Questions, if allowed, must not include words with more than three syllables.
  • No questions.
  • Mentioning the act of reading a newspaper warrants removal from the event.
  • All markers used for scrawling talking points on Palin's hand must be water-soluble.
  • No darkies.

No comments: