Your morning nuclear holocaust bar lowering

We all know the scenarios in which a nuclear attack might be authorized: some other country's nukes are in the air or about to be in the air, we've been hit with a nuclear or large scale biological attack of our own, to kill some large nuclear irradiated monster created as a result of nuclear testing, to surprise Japan for the third time, and because a highly intelligent supercomputer from the seventies thinks it's playing a strategic war game with it's creator.

Well, did you ever think the nuclear attack bar should be lower? Like really, really lower? Well then, you need to call up Michele Bachmann and have a talk.

"If in fact there is a nation who is compliant with all of the rules ahead of time and they've complied with the United Nations on nuclear proliferation, if they fire against the United States a biological weapon, a chemical weapon or maybe a cyber attack, well then we aren't going to be firing back with nuclear weapons," Bachmann said. "Doesn't that make us all feel safe?"

“No!” shouted the crowd of thousands in Minneapolis.

Or maybe a cyber attack? Did anyone see the movie Hackers and think "Surely this is grounds for an atomic strike"? I mean Fisher Stevens was evil in that movie, but not that evil.

Well at least we know what the Bachmann Doctrine will be for her upcoming candidacy on the Palin ticket: guessing her e-mail password, a "denial of service" attack, references to "hax0rz" or "l33t skillz", or the unwanted posting of porn on a non-porn webpage will be met with the full force of America's nuclear arsenal. As it should be.