Friday, June 26, 2009

Happy Fucking Birthday to Us


As of this time tomorrow, TheseBastards will have cheated death for an entire calendar year. While much of this can be easily chalked up to our stubbornness perseverance, lack of anything better to do selfless work ethic and backlog of dick jokes commitment to speaking truth to power, we would be remiss if we didn't thank you, our seven readers.

Verily, your semi-daily visits, no doubt undertaken while clock watching through the end of the workday, are really what kept us going in those dark times. Without you, we'd just be two guys sitting around shit-talking on gchat. But because of you, our loyal, cherished following, we are two guys with a blog sitting around shit-talking on gchat. Thank you. We are even magnanimous enough to forgive you for not making us as famous as we rightly should be. After all, we are nothing if not benevolent and forgiving God-Kings.

We like to think we've accomplished a great deal since firing up this crude, narcissistic exercise. We have indicted virtually every social and political subculture that so much as looked at us funny, pistol-whipped our corporate and media betters for their many sins, slain dragons, rescued fair maidens, taken liberties with said maidens, covered a historic presidential election, foretold various apocalypses, danced on a multitude of graves, wantonly gloated over a couple of Pittsburgh championships, and left one ex-girlfriend profoundly pissed off.


Not a bad tally, really, and one we intend to top in the coming year, provided the world continues to suffer from this nagging case of The Dumb.

Oh, and if we can come up with enough fresh guttertalk.

As always, yours in Christ,


Matthew and Sean

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