Everthing is fixed

I was worried there for a second about our diplomatic relations with Iran. Turns out I was worrying about nothing. Seems we're cool enough that not only did we invite Iran to our swanky State Department 4th of July BBQ, but Iran accepted and will be bringing cole slaw. Everything's fixed.

Having sent the Iranian people a video greeting on their New Year, President Obama is now inviting them to help celebrate a quintessentially American holiday, the Fourth of July.

Last Friday, the State Department sent a cable to its embassies and consulates around the world notifying them that “they may invite representatives from the government of Iran” to their Independence Day celebrations — annual receptions that typically feature hot dogs, red-white-and-blue bunting and some perfunctory remarks about the founding fathers.

This ought to really help. I see something like...the Iranian representative taking a bite into a hot dog (with all the fixins) when the Israeli rep sneaks up and says "You know those are Kosher", before they both share a laugh. Then the Iranian rep playfully drives the Israeli rep into the sea salt flavored kettle chips, then they embrace. Then we join the embrace. Then the party runs out of beer, but it's OK because someones goes out to get more. Then peace.

Meanwhile North Korea watches from outside the gates, sheds a single tear, and then slowly walks away as music from Charlie Brown plays.

This is exactly what will happen.