Broken in Brief: Iran can't believe you bought that 'democracy' bullshit

TEHRAN--Diplomatic relations between the west and the Islamic Republic of Iran have collapsed virtually overnight as the Middle East power has become distracted by quashing reformist protests to the disputed presidential election and rolling around on the floor in a fit of debilitating laughter.

Orders by both incumbent president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei to crush opposition demonstrations over rampant voting irregularities were reportedly issued through tear-filled eyes, as neither Mr. Ahmadinejad nor Mr. Khamenei were able to stop laughing long enough to order police and military into the streets with a straight face.

"I... can't... believe... you all.. fell... for... it," the diminutive leader said, barely able to speak through his constant, hysterical laughter. "It was so obvious, and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Here, let's shake hands and make up," he finsished, offering up his hand in friendship. "Whoops," he yelled, pulling his hand back dramatically as onlookers attempted to shake it. "I got you again. AH HA-HA-HA! This is too easy! Ali, Ali, you talk, I can't stop laughing."

But Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was unable to even form basic words as he was laughing so hard. As he was doubled over cackling, some journalists began to point out a trail of urine seeping out from under his robes. Soon he was able to compose himself enough to sarcastically toddle over to a cardboard box at the side of the stage and mockingly put a slip of paper into it.

"Look! Look! I'm expressing my rights as a free citizen," the religious leader said before once again rendering himself unable to speak due to his uncontrollable chortling. It was at this point that President Ahmadinejad fell to the floor laughing, clutching his sides, and kicking his legs in a wild manner. "It's... just... so... funny," he squealed, gasping for air.

At press time opposition and protest leaders were unable to understand what was so funny. But sources close to them were preparing their own return joke. One source close to rival Presidential candidate Hossein Mousavi was heard to quip, "From a physical comedy standpoint, what's funnier when it happens to a despotic leader: public stoning or public hanging?" before being dragged away and tossed into a windowless van.