So we aren't going to all die?

I'm confused here. I, along with the national media, have been fearmongering my heart out about the world's impending pig virus based death. Now today, instead of the WHO creating a 7th pandemic level and saying we've hit it, we have tax cheat Secretary Sebelius telling us not to worry. To be cautiously optimistic. That Obama's secret fire based razing of Mexico has seemingly kept Porcine AIDS out of our precious American air. The only guy left who wants to ratchet up panic is the UK's chief medical officer. But all he can seem to do is promise a nebulous future outbreak that'll totally be worse. He basically shares Sebelius' optimism. How disappointing.

The swine flu virus could turn out to be less severe than previously feared, the US government said today.

Kathleen Sebelius, making her first speech as the US health secretary, said: "We are cautiously optimistic that what we are seeing right now is presenting itself as a much milder virus than the initial cases that presented themselves in Mexico."

But the British government's chief medical officer, Sir Liam Donaldson, today warned it would be "premature" to assume the virus was a mild infection.
...
Donaldson predicted that a second, larger wave of infections could be expected during the usual flu season in the autumn and winter.

Promises, promises. At the very least we can hang our hat on the fact that Sebelius is saying we should be optimistic that the virus that came across the border was a mutated, weaker form of the Mexican version. That does give us some shred of hope that the worse version can jump over.

How many times are we going to dodge the apocalypse? The financial crisis seems to not be wholly devouring society. Health officials are optimistic about the flupocalypse. That giant meteor missed Earth. Hamas is talking about a two-state solution. Our only hope is that sharks start to eat swimmers en masse as the summer starts up. Otherwise we're going to have to start planning for the future. Until 2012. Then it's over for real.