You're fired

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, another ritual has come to pass. The firing of the first gay Arab linguist. It's a time honored tradition where we fire military personnel who are critical to our Middle Eastern and war on terrorism efforts because we feel all funny about their desire to put their wing-wangs in a place that God didn't say was kosher or rub lady parts together in a non Spring Break related context. It's all very serious and adult.

Aside from the one question we all have (why are seemingly all of the Arab linguists gay) I think the other is: why do we still have this policy? Or are we also kicking people out on the basis of phrenology, consultation of the bones, and bad omens in the sky? For his part, Obama does seem to feel totally bad about his legal requirement to weaken the defense of our country because some general was forces to think of one of his soldiers smooching with another person of the same gender. Obama wrote the woman a letter and everything, assuring her he'd like to repeal it but Congress is involved, so everything will be stupid for a little while longer.

At least PA Congressman Joe Sestak (RUN AGAINST SPECTER!) is promising action later this summer. Until then we'll just have to hope we won't need Arab linguists or that terrorists don't just start all their coded communiques with: "Dear, superior officer. I, the American soldier transcribing, writing and/or reading this, am a homosexual." That's just going to throw everything into chaos.