Poor bastards lament non-Kennedy status

This morning, via the New York Times, we learn of a sad tale. People without famous last names who want to be Senator of New York now that Hillary has moved on to her position of saying "The Israelis did what?" The sheer amount of repressed rage and positive assessments of Queen Caroline VIII through gritted teeth on display are enough to make you wonder if one of the also rans is going to take a swing at our appointed better. All I'm saying is that the reporter had to edit out a lot of curse words that these people muttered under their breath.

It is not easy competing with a Kennedy. This axiom of American politics has been true for more than half a century.

But nowhere is it more obvious than in New York nowadays, where United States Representatives Steve Israel and Carolyn B. Maloney, who both aspire to the Senate seat being vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton, have followed the lead of Caroline Kennedy and crisscrossed the state in a campaign-style dash through city halls, train stations and offices of local party leaders.

They have variously invited reporters to lunch, cheerfully passed around cream-filled pastries and publicized every stop on their schedules, but still attracted scant attention compared with the heiress to America’s most storied political dynasty.

Mr. Israel was greeted by four reporters Monday afternoon at the Mar-Logg Restaurant in Utica, where patrons barely seemed to notice as he held court in the rear of the diner. He said the low-key reaction did not trouble him.

What's worse, knowing you have no chance versus a Kennedy, or knowing that you still have no chance after her horrible stint of interviews, entitled air of "Why do I even have to do anything other than tell the Governor I want it", and Palin-esque media rollout? So listen, you are going to have to change your names or at least pretend that your name is famous for some reason.

If you don't want to become a Cuomo, Rockefeller, or Sharpton, then Steve I think you're going to have to claim you invented Israel. That might not be the most popular thing right now, but how many Palestinians can vote in a New York election? There definitely aren't any Palestinians in the Governor's mansion. Carolyn, just go by your first name and hope everyone confuses you with the other Caroline. As long as no one reads the name in print and only hears it audibly you have a shot. You could just waltz up to the Governor say "I'm Carolyn, give me the seat I want" and get it and if you can do a good impression of a Kennedy, you'll be able to get by Patterson. He sure as hell won't be able to visually ID you. His dog might figure out what's up, but I'm betting there's no 'fraud' bark. Otherwise? You have no hope, it was preordained when you fell out of the wrong vagina. Blame your mother.