Insane man to infect airwaves today

Are you ready? Today is the day when the State of Illinois Senate begins the impeachment trial of one Roderick "$1000 for my middle name or best offer" Blagojevich. So of course he's preparing to defend himself and fight it, right? No, he's skipping it and instead going on every TV show to protest his innocence. And by protesting his innocence I mean not answering any of the direct charges, claiming it's all politically motivated, and comparing himself to Jesus. Because when you're about to be thrown out of office by an overwhelming margin and then get convicted in a federal court, the thing you want to do most is go on the View and argue constitutional law with Whoopie and Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

Last week he was out comparing the indictment to Pearl Harbor. That was apparently enough for his head lawyer to petition for a 'writ of fucknuttery' and promptly dive off the sinking ship. Last night on ABC he swore that if he had done anything wrong he totally would have resigned, honest. Today he already got off a corker about his thought process during the indictment.

"I thought about Mandela, Dr. King and Gandhi and tried to put some perspective to all this and that is what I am doing now."

Word to the wise Rod, all three did jail time. He then attempted to say that this persecution was all "one big misunderstanding." Yes, one big multi-year misunderstanding with reams of taped conversations and evidence that everyone has misunderstood. He then let it come out in an interview with Diane Sawyer that he considered appointing Oprah to Obama's vacated senate seat. Apparently even Pay-Rod has his limits, as he deemed it "too gimmicky".

All I'm saying is that this is just the morning interviews and shit he yelled to assembled press. We've got a Mandela reference, Pearl Harbor, Senator Oprah, and a state wide plague of ignorance persecuting St. Rod. He hasn't even gone on the View, Ellen, Between Two Ferns, or Larry King yet. This could be the greatest thing ever. And he isn't even staring down jail time yet. The trial is going to be great.