Baracklyn

Those of you not doing anything this June 23rd might want to hop over to a Brooklyn Cyclones game where they're taking politically themed promotional stunts to staggering new hopey and changey levels. Brooklyn becomes Baracklyn and a whole night is centered around trying to fill a minor league stadium with people who want to get close to Mets A-ball prospects and snag a Baracklyn jersey or an Obama bobblehead. As a bonus there are several ways you cheap bastards can chintz the team out of a $5 dollar ticket, although one of them requires you to be the other guy in this country whose name is Barack. As an added bonus HHS Secretary Tom Daschle will come out and relief pitch 3 innings.

The June 23rd festivities will feature:

• Alternate red, white, and blue jerseys adorned with the team’s new name
  
• FREE Barack Obama bobbleheads to the first 2,500 fans in attendance, featuring the President in a Baracklyn Cyclones Jersey
  
• The Economic Stimulus Package: From 10am on January 20th – Inauguration Day – to midnight on January 23rd, ticket prices for the June 23rd game will be “rolled back” to the Cyclones’ inaugural 2001 season rates: $10 Field Box Seats, $8 Box Seats, $5 Bleacher Seats. Beginning January 24th, tickets will be priced at the regular 2009 rates ($15, $12, $8)
  
• Universal Health Care: Free Band-Aids to the first 1,000 fans
  
• Naming Rights: Anyone named Barack gets in for free (Bring your ID on the night of the game)
  
• Joe the Plumber special: any plumber named Joe gets two free tickets – one for himself, and one to “spread the wealth” with a friend (Bring your ID and a business card or proof of employment on the night of the game)
  
• Bi-Partisan Consolation Prize: anyone named McCain or Palin will get a free Bleacher Seat (Bring your ID on the night of the game)
• A clear-cut Exit Strategy: fans will receive American Flags and discount coupons as they leave the ballpark