Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Loathsome


via Buffalo Beast comes their comprehensive list of the years 50 most loathsome people of 2008. From Barack Obama to Sarah Palin (what you thought someone else was going to be #1) they list the offenses and the prescribed punishment. Among the highlights:
50. Barack Obama
Charges: Beyond a few token acts of bipartisan marketing, Barry's major duty in the Senate was to avoid legislating, so he could pretend Washington-outsider status and nullify attacks on his non-existent policy positions.

Sentence: Presiding over the decline of an exhausted empire.

45. Nancy Pfotenhauer
Charges: A face so hewn can't be found in American politics outside of the Black Hills—or possibly the Speaker's office. The envy of any giraffe prostitute, her Coulterish neck suggests a correlation between head-shoulder distance and affinity for dissembling fascism.

39. Caroline Kennedy
Charges: A limp, lifeless, murmuring slouch whose dearth of vivacity makes John Kerry look like Richard Simmons, Kennedy has the apparent focus and charm of a shock therapy victim on Haldol.

28. Frank Caliendo
Charges: The retarded man's Rich Little, Caliendo has been irritating Americans for nearly a decade, gaining recognition as the implausibly fat impressionist on the lethally unfunny "MADtv".

Exhibit A: His TBS vehicle, "Frank TV," is the least amusing thing to appear on television since the morning of September 11, 2001.

7. Dick Cheney
Charges: Still alive.

Sentence: Eaten alive by baboons.

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