Humility

Former Merril Lynch Chief John Thain doesn't want you to think he's a bad guy. I mean sure he's a millionaire robber baron who ran a company into the ground, but Johnny's a man of the people. I mean you probably didn't notice that when Thain was rushing out billions in bonuses to his people before while telling the government he was in desperate need of a bailout, fighting to get a bigger bonus for his work in 2008, or spending 1.2 million to decorate his office last year. You try feeling like a sassy financial leader without a $87,000 rug and $68,000 19th Century Credenza. Now he wants you to know he's one of you. He feels your pain.

Thain - who was booted last week from Merrill's new parent, Bank of America, for excesses that included spending $87,000 on an office rug - was having dinner at San Pietro last week with BlackRock Chairman Larry Fink. He loudly told the waiter, for all to hear, "under the circumstances with this tough economy, I think I'll have tap water."

As he bravely choked down the tap water he was heard to say "What is this taste....dear God it's flavor! Oh Christ I'm being poisoned. This is fluoridation! The communists are invading my precious bodily fluids. You see what I'm doing to ingratiate myself to you peasants! APPRECIATE ME!" before spitting it out and demanding some Moet so he could "wash the fucking taste of that bilge out of my mouth." So before you mock him or put him on your list of people to guillotine during the uprising, remember, he understands. He drank tap water.