Eric Holder will not be nominated as President of 24

Yesterday marked the beginning of Senate Confirmation hearings for Obama Attorney General nominee Eric Holder. It started off well enough, with Pat Leahy getting Holder to agree that waterboarding was both torture and unacceptable, that an Obama Administration would not torture. Shocked at this open admission that Eric Holder wanted to kill Americans and pamper terrorists with his gay liberal ideas about human rights, Republicans jumped into the fray. John Cornyn of Texas decided to construct a mind shattering hypothetical based around something he half-remembered from a years old episode of 24, designed to shock the conscience and render Mr Holder's pampered liberal ideas as reckless and reduce Mr. Holder to tears at the thought of what his policies might bring forth.

CORNYN: I wanna just ask you a hypothetical. Earlier, you condemned the use of waterboarding. But you’re familiar with the ticking time bomb scenario, and I just wanna pose a hypothetical for you. Let’s say as Attorney General you find out that there are terrorists that have access to chemical, biological, or nuclear weapons, and that you have a detainee who’s in possession of information that, if disclosed, would prevent those weapons from being detonated in the United States and thousands, maybe tens of thousands people being killed. You would still refuse to condone aggressive interrogation techniques like waterboarding to get that information, which would, under my hypothetical, save perhaps tens of thousands of lives.

Horrifying...and possibly infringing on FOX copyrights. Holder responded that waterboarding was not the only method of gaining information. Cornyn then decided to blow some minds.

HOLDER: I think your hypothetical assumes a premise that I’m not willing to concede.
CORNYN: I know you don’t like my hypothetical.
HOLDER: No, the hypothetical’s fine; the premise that underlies it I’m not willing to accept, and that is that waterboarding is the only way that I could get that information from those people.
CORNYN: Assume that it was.

Yes, assume that not only have all interrogation techniques been forgotten, but possibly even the notion of asking questions, and all that was left was drowning people. What then liberal? Holder just laughed and vowed to make sure Jack Bauer would never have the tools to be able to extract the information about where those suitcase nukes that are going to detonate within the hour are. He then pointed out that ticking time bomb scenarios only happen on TV, not in the real world, rendering Jack Bauer trapped in a plot hole riddled world of fiction and constant terrorism.

I'm guessing Cornyn will not vote to confirm Holder. While he seems fit to preside over our world, Holder is completely unprepared to rule over the world as depicted in Cornyn's favorite TV show. We can't have that.