Mayor Luke Steelersteel

For those of you unfamiliar with how seriously our hometown takes its professional football, I give you Pittsburgh man-child mayor, Luke Ravenstahl's attempt to fire up the troops for Sunday's game:

Ravenstahl, -- er, Steelerstahl -- says he decided to remove "Raven" from his name just as he predicts the Steelers will remove the hated Baltimore Ravens from contention in Sunday's AFC Championship Game.

Much as I admire the cheap stunt, there are two problems here, Mr. Mayor. First, you couldn't be bothered to cut the $108 check for processing fees, so the change isn't official. If a public official is to make a proper spectacle of himself, he's got to commit. Second, Stahl is German for "steel." You are now Mayor Luke Steelersteel. Own it, Steelersteel.

Ah, Pittsburgh. You're like that morbidly obese, obnoxious, intoxicated cousin. I love you and would stop a bullet for you and am constantly defending you and asking others to just give you a chance. But then you pull shit like this and my entire argument crumbles.