Bush announces invasion of Thursday night programming

Mind gangster and emotional terrorist George Bush has decided to wrest command of our Thursday night airwaves to deliver a farewell address that will certainly disrupt the showing of not only Grey's Anatomy, but possibly even 30 Rock and Bones. Why is he going to give a farewell address to the nation? He has no clue whatsoever and, if you'd be so kind, he's soliciting ideas for a theme or train of thought to base his final address around. In fact he wasn't even sure he was going to do the old goodbye to the nation a few weeks ago, mostly because he didn't want it getting too real.

SCULLY: Will you deliver a farewell address in this office?

BUSH: Thinking about it. Thinking about it. A lot of Presidents have, and I’m giving it serious thought. I don’t want it to be — you know, kind of a real emotional goodbye.

You won't have any worries about it getting too emotional. Unless you meant emotions such as exultant joy or glorious happiness over the fact that you are leaving, or the extreme feelings of loathing, outrage, and disgust over the fact that you've delayed Grissom's last CSI so you could you could spit out 15 minutes worth of "Uhhh....terrorists is still out there. I didn't catch them all. Stay....vag...vigilant. See you on the flipside." before announcing unilateral pardons for everyone in your administration. As a single tear rolls down his cheek he'll tell us that he's sorry...that we didn't fully comprehend his brilliance.

So George, don't you bother getting all emotional either, we'll be all right. We've suffered through you, we can handle anything. Don't worry. Don't look back. Run, RUN~! to your new house in Dallas. You're Texas' problem again.