BARRY! The heartwarming story that transfixed 53% of the country.

The fascist shock troops of the liberal media elite, MSNBC, have decided to force a decision on you: catch an early showing of Paul Blart: Mall Cop so as to avoid the rush or go see Mr. Barry get inaugurafied. Oh yes, the Inauguration, coming to theaters near you.

President-elect Barack Obama is on his way to the big screen, thanks to a deal between MSNBC and Screenvision that will put the news channel's inaugural coverage in 27 theaters around the country.

Free tickets are being handed out via MSNBC.com to see the inauguration and parade from 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m. ET at the 27 theaters run by 11 exhibitor partners in 21 markets. Midday Tuesday isn't necessarily a big movie time, so it helps to fill the theater -- and boost popcorn and soda sales -- at a time when it's not usually busy.

Because nothing moves popcorn and jumbo Kit-Kat's like Chris Matthews' gruesome visage, 20 feet high and screeching about the history of the event in DTS surround sound. Its probably more horrifying and fright inducing than My Bloody Valentine 3D. No mention of whether they will actually charge money for the privilege of seeing a two story Keith Olbermann get sedated the second Dick Cheney appears on the dais, or if they realize everyone can watch this at home on any channel they wish for free. I'm for it as long as it leads to the one thing we all want: Scarborough Country in IMAX.

Go to MSNBC Events for details. If you show it to your boss you could conceivably weasel leaving your office to 'witness the history on the big screen' instead of huddling around the office TV with Philyss and the gang, trying to remember if you know these people well enough to get away with cracking the mulatto jokes you Googled.