Broken In Brief: Palin denies rise of sun, existence of bees

CLEVELAND--At a rally today on the steps of Cleveland's City Hall, Alaska Governor and Republican Vice President nominee Sarah Palin elevated her reputation for denying the blindingly conspicuous by declaring the bright ball of incandescent gas around which the Earth orbits "God's Halogen" and flatly denying, for no apparent reason, the existence of bees. When a reporter pointed out than no one from the press pool had questioned Palin on either topic, Palin responded, "I don't know what yer talkin' about" and winked.

This ever-evolving strategy had most recently been put to use in response to "Troopergate," the latest flagrantly stupid media application of the "-gate" suffix, in this case to the controversy surrounding Palin's inappropriate leveraging of her power to have fired an Alaska State Trooper who was going through a fractious divorce with the Governor's sister. When a bipartisan statement issued by the Alaska State Legislature determined that Palin had abused the powers of her office in an effort to have the trooper fired, the Governor countered, essentially, with "no it didn't."

In the wake of today's rally, McCain campaign spokesperson Nancy Pfotenhauer took umbrage with the report, claiming that at no point did Governor Palin mention anything about the sun or bees. When presented with footage of Palin doing exactly that, Pfotenhauer stuttered before pointing in the distance and screaming, "What the hell is that?"