Friday, October 24, 2008

Broken In Brief: Local man forgets names of vague acquaintances at social gathering

PORTLAND, ME--Local resident James Farston expressed regret today at being unable to recall the names of three people he met briefly at a party two nights ago. Farston, 31, a clerk at Scooby's Deli in south Portland, grew increasingly distraught as repeated attempts to conjure names proved futile.

"God, this is so frustrating," Farston sighed while cleaning the meat slicer after his evening shift. "I mean, I can tell you plenty about each of them. The one dude had tape on his glasses and smelled kind of like furniture polish. And the couple -- at least I think they were a couple -- didn't really hold hands or anything the entire night. That was kind of encouraging, since the chick was pretty hot and was wearing this tight t-shirt that kept riding up on her. Man it’s going to be so awkward if I run into any of them ever again. I probably won’t because I don’t even run in that circle, but what if I do? They’ll think I’m some sort of asshole."

Despite his hangover and sour mood, Farston remained slightly optimistic. "Maybe this is like one of those things where if I just stop thinking about it, it'll come to me, you know? Christ, there was that one guy with the hat. I know him from the thing. The...thing. Doesn’t anyone understand? Help me out here...the thing, with the light up stuff. He was standing right next to me when it happened! With the hat! J...somethingorother." As he continued the two patrons in line replaced the items they had intended to purchase and left the store in mild irritation.

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