Exclusive: Future McCain Campaign Slurs Revealed

The TheseBastards Reconnaissance Squad recently infiltrated McCain campaign headquarters and emerged with highly sensitive material. Our spies have obtained the working list of outlandish accusations reserved for the race's home stretch. As you will see, several of these have already been deployed, but the majority of the list is still in play. At this crucial stage of the race, we urge vigilance.

And yes, of course, many Bothans died.

Philistine
Terrorist
Community Organizer
Opportunist
Muslim
Egotist
Media Whore
Socialist
Muslim Sleeper Agent
Non-Citizen
Back Alley Abortionist
No, seriously, Muslim Sleeper Agent
Go below the fold to see the rest.

Cacafuego
Secretly Gaius Baltar, will give Toasters the defense codes
Tranny
Cincinnati Bengals Fan
Second Gunman on the Grassy Knoll
One of the Great Old Ones, lying dormant in R'lyeh, preparing for his glorious resurrection
High Voodoo Priest, Skilled in the Black Arts
Ni…
Scourge of Carpathia, Sorrow of Moldavia
Largest printer and distributor of race cards in the contiguous United States
Rushed for 11,236 career yards before murdering Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman
Welfare Queen
Nigerian e-mail scammer
Warden of North Vietnamese prison camp