Pennsylvania Strikes Back

It seems I called the crazy partisan how-low-can-you-go shitfest a little too soon. As some of you might recall, last week an elderly couple in Western PA declared their enthusiastic support for "the nigger." Southern Ohio then quickly responded when one of its fair citizens hung a Halloween-themed Obama effigy in his front yard. Not to be outdone, someone or someones in North Carolina killed a bear and draped Obama signs on the carcass.

And that, I thought, was the end of it. Modern American political discourse at its finest. Then Pittburgh, my hometown, came out of nowhere with a burst of bored redneck insanity typically reserved for asylums and Matthew's family reunions...

[CNN] -- A Pennsylvania woman told police she was attacked at an ATM in Pittsburgh by a robber who became angry when he saw a John McCain bumper sticker on her car, a spokeswoman for the Pittsburgh Police Department said Thursday...

...She further stated the man "punched her in the back of the head, knocking her to the ground, and he continued to punch and kick her while threatening to teach her a lesson for being a McCain supporter," according to a police statement.

The woman also told police her attacker "called her a lot of names and stated that 'You are going to be a Barack supporter,' at which time she states he sat on her chest, pinning both her hands down with his knees, and scratched into her face a backward letter 'B' on the right side of her face using what she believed to be a very dull knife."

That's right. We've officially progressed from hate speech to racist lawn decorations to bear killing to assault and the carving of candidate initials into flesh. But the story, much like the beat, goes on...

[Trib Live]--Police planned to administer a polygraph test to Ashley Todd, 20, because her statements about the attack conflict with evidence from the Citizens Bank ATM where she claims the incident occurred, police said

.Also:

[Salon]--Since then, though, some people -- conservative blogger Michelle Malkin among them -- have begun to question Todd's account. And the Web site TMZ.com says it has sources inside the Pittsburgh police who say "they have serious questions about the authenticity of the alleged victim who says she had her face cut by a politically-motivated attacker." The site also reports that it has been told "there are several things about the alleged attack that don't add up."

Oof. Do you know how far fetched a lie has to be for Michelle Malkin to not buy it? This is epic. We might well be looking at a scenario where a McCain volunteer ventured to a strange city, concocted a false story about a politically motivated assault, lied to the authorities, and garnered national media attention. Now, if Ms. Todd was, in fact, robbed, beaten and disfigured on account of her political beliefs, well, that certainly isn't something we can get behind. Everyone has the right to assert their political preferences, no matter how misguided.

But if she really did make it all up, we need to get her some sort of medal because, frankly, before now I just didn't believe anyone could be so desperate and shortsighted as to pull a stunt like this. You have to admit, though, that it fits somewhat snugly into the general narrative being written of the McCain-Palin campaign. And so we wait, in bemused horror, for the polygraph results.