/via soothbrush
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Art of the Day
Joshua Hoffine has taken it upon himself to recreate basically every nightmare you had as a child. Sleep well.
/via soothbrush
/via soothbrush
Broken In Brief: Opera house tragically rebuilt after fire
SEATTLE—An overwhelming sense of grief descended upon the city today as the Civic Light Opera announced it had secured enough funding to commence rebuilding the Seattle Metropolitan Opera House, which burned down late last year in an electrical fire.
“It is with great sadness and regret that we announce that the local arts community, in conjunction with business leaders and the region’s moneyed elite, have cobbled together the financing required to rebuild the opera house. I’m sorry,” a shaken Giovanni Finnochio, director of the Seattle CLO announced.
“I know we had all hoped that this project would be abandoned and the money directed toward constructing a new sports arena so that we might lure an NBA franchise back to the city. But for now, that dream is dead,” said Finnochio, fighting back tears.
A somber and depressed mood seemed to permeate the crowd as most demographic representatives came to grips with the fact that they would be expected to buy tickets to support the rebuilt opera house. Indeed many local executives and upper middle class status seekers were cringing at the thought of enduring night after night of tuxedo rentals, dinners with their spouses, and the music, oh God, the unending dirge of classical music.
“If I wanted to see a bunch of Italians sing in Italian, I’d go to the local prison and check out the men’s choir,” said a distraught Jeffrey Logan, whose wife had already inquired about the possibility of purchasing a season pass.
“I just wanted to watch Kevin Durant ball,” he said as the emotion of the situation overwhelmed him. “Maybe even a hockey team. I’ll take anything: WNBA, roller derby, jai alai. But not this. Not this...”
As those nearby moved to console Logan, none could offer anything beyond cheap platitudes that did little to mitigate the fear caused by the continued assault of the arts on the sporting community.
“It is with great sadness and regret that we announce that the local arts community, in conjunction with business leaders and the region’s moneyed elite, have cobbled together the financing required to rebuild the opera house. I’m sorry,” a shaken Giovanni Finnochio, director of the Seattle CLO announced.
“I know we had all hoped that this project would be abandoned and the money directed toward constructing a new sports arena so that we might lure an NBA franchise back to the city. But for now, that dream is dead,” said Finnochio, fighting back tears.
A somber and depressed mood seemed to permeate the crowd as most demographic representatives came to grips with the fact that they would be expected to buy tickets to support the rebuilt opera house. Indeed many local executives and upper middle class status seekers were cringing at the thought of enduring night after night of tuxedo rentals, dinners with their spouses, and the music, oh God, the unending dirge of classical music.
“If I wanted to see a bunch of Italians sing in Italian, I’d go to the local prison and check out the men’s choir,” said a distraught Jeffrey Logan, whose wife had already inquired about the possibility of purchasing a season pass.
“I just wanted to watch Kevin Durant ball,” he said as the emotion of the situation overwhelmed him. “Maybe even a hockey team. I’ll take anything: WNBA, roller derby, jai alai. But not this. Not this...”
As those nearby moved to console Logan, none could offer anything beyond cheap platitudes that did little to mitigate the fear caused by the continued assault of the arts on the sporting community.
Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.22
Held By The Taliban
If you're interested in reading a great story, the New York Times has a a massive 5 part account of journalist David Rohde's 7 month long imprisonment by the Taliban in Afghanistan. Beyond the simple interest in the personal story of Rohde it also gives great insight into the way Afghans view our war on terror and what fuels the anti-Americanism and extremism.
AT&T hits Internet vote
In case you were wondering where the next frontier of the government's never ending battle to stand with corporations over the interests of the American people, look to the intarwubs. AT&T is engaging a full court press on net neutrality and gaining a lot of support for its attempts to be allowed to place restrictions on access to content an services. On the side of freedom: the President, the Google, Skype, and Facebook. But I can see why they're having trouble opposing AT&T. I mean who isn't for restricting information on the internet?
Rage Against Torture: Top Musicians Demand Records On How Bush Admin Used Their Songs Against Detainees
Trent Reznor, R.E.M., Pearl Jam, Jackson Browne, Rage Against the Machine, Rosanne Cash, Billy Bragg and the Roots have all joined together in a group called Zero db to protest the use of music during torture in the future and the use of music in torture during the Bush Administration. That's all well and good, but I think that Rage and Trent, maybe Pearl Jam, are the only ones who have to worry about their music being used in torture. I doubt Dick Cheney authorized the use of "Running on Empty" and "So. Central Rain (I'm Sorry)" on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed before telling them to put on Mermaid Avenue Volumes I and II and "just let it play all the way through."
Pay Czar to Slash Compensation at Seven Firms
Hey, turns out that after months and months and months of doing nothing of pay for firms that got bailed out (read: all of them), it seems that the pay czar, whose only job is doing things related to CEO salaries of bailed out companies, decided that he might as well put in a half day of work and push forward with a proposal that is popular with the American people. Of course the business community is outraged. I guess the people that set fire to the world's money will have to make due with half a million in salary with bonus compensation not to exceed $10 million. I hope they'll still be able to afford food with cuts that drastic.
Google's Android Allows Soldiers to Put Drones on Buddy List
Who here wanted a cell phone that could not only compete with the iPhone in terms of price, innovation, and technology, but could also sync up with a Predator drone on a bombing run in the mountains of Afghanistan and get streaming video of the attack. I know I have and those fuckers in the Apple apps store have not heeded my demands. Thankfully Raytheon is on the case and using Google's Android operating system to do so. So is this going to be in the Droid phone or am I going to have to join the military to get the app?
If you're interested in reading a great story, the New York Times has a a massive 5 part account of journalist David Rohde's 7 month long imprisonment by the Taliban in Afghanistan. Beyond the simple interest in the personal story of Rohde it also gives great insight into the way Afghans view our war on terror and what fuels the anti-Americanism and extremism.
AT&T hits Internet vote
In case you were wondering where the next frontier of the government's never ending battle to stand with corporations over the interests of the American people, look to the intarwubs. AT&T is engaging a full court press on net neutrality and gaining a lot of support for its attempts to be allowed to place restrictions on access to content an services. On the side of freedom: the President, the Google, Skype, and Facebook. But I can see why they're having trouble opposing AT&T. I mean who isn't for restricting information on the internet?
Rage Against Torture: Top Musicians Demand Records On How Bush Admin Used Their Songs Against Detainees
Trent Reznor, R.E.M., Pearl Jam, Jackson Browne, Rage Against the Machine, Rosanne Cash, Billy Bragg and the Roots have all joined together in a group called Zero db to protest the use of music during torture in the future and the use of music in torture during the Bush Administration. That's all well and good, but I think that Rage and Trent, maybe Pearl Jam, are the only ones who have to worry about their music being used in torture. I doubt Dick Cheney authorized the use of "Running on Empty" and "So. Central Rain (I'm Sorry)" on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed before telling them to put on Mermaid Avenue Volumes I and II and "just let it play all the way through."
Pay Czar to Slash Compensation at Seven Firms
Hey, turns out that after months and months and months of doing nothing of pay for firms that got bailed out (read: all of them), it seems that the pay czar, whose only job is doing things related to CEO salaries of bailed out companies, decided that he might as well put in a half day of work and push forward with a proposal that is popular with the American people. Of course the business community is outraged. I guess the people that set fire to the world's money will have to make due with half a million in salary with bonus compensation not to exceed $10 million. I hope they'll still be able to afford food with cuts that drastic.
Google's Android Allows Soldiers to Put Drones on Buddy List
Who here wanted a cell phone that could not only compete with the iPhone in terms of price, innovation, and technology, but could also sync up with a Predator drone on a bombing run in the mountains of Afghanistan and get streaming video of the attack. I know I have and those fuckers in the Apple apps store have not heeded my demands. Thankfully Raytheon is on the case and using Google's Android operating system to do so. So is this going to be in the Droid phone or am I going to have to join the military to get the app?
Quote of the day
Philip Spooner, World War II vet, on the gay marriage debate currently going on in Maine.
I am here today because of a conversation I had last June when I was voting. A woman at my polling place asked me, "Do you believe in equal, equality for gay and lesbian people?" I was pretty surprised to be asked a question like that. It made no sense to me. Finally I asked her, "What do you think our boys fought for at Omaha Beach?" I haven't seen much, so much blood and guts, so much suffering, much sacrifice. For what? For freedom and equality. These are the values that give America a great nation, one worth dying for.The quest to repeal gay marriage rights in Maine through the Question 1 ballot initiative is going to be voted on soon. And surprise of surprises the opposition to it is from the same groups that got Prop 8 passed in California. Numbers overlord Nate Silver of 538.com says the ban is likely to fail, but that it'll be close either way. I guess the question is do people in Maine hate freedom, liberty, veterans, World War II, the D-Day assault, the military, our victory against the Axis powers, and equality so much that they would overturn the rights of gays to marry and tacitly endorse Hitler's invasion into Poland and annexation of the Sudetenland? I guess we'll find out on November 3rd.
Chart of the day
A study of last week's most covered stories from The Pew Research Center's Project for Excellence in Journalism. Which really should be changed to Project for "Excellence" in "Journalism". It found that while health care was the big story of the week, balloon boy came in a strong third ahead of Afghanistan and Pakistan in our intelligent national discourse. On the other hand Falcon Heene, or "That little lying shit" as we all know him, was the week's second most covered "newsmaker". Placing second to the most powerful leader in the world, who also coincidentally got stuck in a balloon, but was able to extricate himself with the help of the Secret Service, Sasha, Malia, and a pointed stick.I know some of you are angrily saying "I can't believe it was ahead of the two areas we're about to escalate a war in the week lots of big news comes out about it!" I think the better question is: Only third place? I think that had a function to do with the fact that the balloon boy story happened on a Thursday and therefore wasn't given a full week's worth of coverage like that health care bullshit was. I'm sure if that family pulled that hoax on a Monday or Sunday evening, we would have seen some serious media abdication of journalistic responsibilities. As such, real news was actually allowed to break through during the week, though thankfully not on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday.
Sadly, I think we're going to have to suffer through real news on a national level for most of this week. Hopefully some kid gets caught adrift in a homemade catamaran or falls down a well or something so we don't have to hear about health care or any of our old wars on the evening news.
We've changed our minds
Perhaps, in our quest for world domination, we made a request in too much haste. Oh sure, we really need a naval fleet, that much is certain. But I think we've give too little consideration to our land based God-chariots. That's why Sean and I would like you to consider buying us The $1.6 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armoured car.
Need me to sell you? How about it's made by the same company, RussoBaltique, that built armoured vehicles for Tsar Nicholas, Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky. Yeah, two people who were brutally murdered and another who was hit by numerous assassination attempts. I think it's important to note that all these things happened outside their RussoBaltiques, not inside. I'm sold on the protection. But what about the luxury?
Need me to sell you? How about it's made by the same company, RussoBaltique, that built armoured vehicles for Tsar Nicholas, Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky. Yeah, two people who were brutally murdered and another who was hit by numerous assassination attempts. I think it's important to note that all these things happened outside their RussoBaltiques, not inside. I'm sold on the protection. But what about the luxury?
The bulletproof windows are gold-plated, the exhaust is made of tungsten, the gauges are encrusted with diamonds and rubies and the exterior has a Kevlar coating.But what about something for a discerning and classy individual, like myself?
The car also comes with three bottles of the world’s most expensive Vodka, RussoBaltique, although the website does warn prospective buyers not to drink and drive.
...
Dartz’s armoured vehicles weigh roughly 4 tonnes, are powered by V8s putting out between 300kW and 400kW and are “rocket grenade-proof” according to the website.
The Russian armoured-car builder is boasting that its latest vehicle has seats covered with “whale-penis leather”I'll take ten.
Stewart's on it
Jon Stewart on that whole taxpayer-funded gang rape thing:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Rape-Nuts | ||||
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Stones
We've heard some bizarre penis-related conspiracies before. Who can forget Rush Limbaugh decreeing that we needed to save our penises from Obama. Well it turns out that Rush was almost right, which for him is a stunning achievement in accuracy. He just needed to turn his attention just a few tics lower....to the balls. Yes, Obama is a danger to Republican balls. Science said so.
So the next time some conservative commentator talks about how some liberal policy enacted by the liberals in Congress and the White House is damaging the masculinity of the country and pussifying it, just know that he's speaking from experience and scientific evidence. In fact were he to drop his pants on TV, which is what Glenn Beck is two weeks away from doing....tops, you would see the effects of 9+ months of shriveling, shrinkage, and receding. In fact the teabaggers might don't even have the requisite ability to teabag if Obama keeps issuing brutal commands from his throne of skulls. Still, this is a net positive. If there's anything Republicans need, it's less testosterone in their politics.
Those who remember the street parties of Election Night 2008 might think the testosterone levels of Obama voters had shot up in triumph. That would be wrong.Obama's win and McCain's loss had no effect on the testosterone of women, with male levels showing the same levels as they normally do when their sports teams win big games. Which just goes to show you that women need to invest more of their physical and emotional health into politics and sports like men do. So when you say something political felt like "getting kicked in the balls", something I do like five or twenty times a day, you're close. It's something closer to a chemical/metabolic ball kicking....from the inside.
Instead, liberal testosterone levels stayed stable, while those of male Republican voters plummeted. The latter also reported feeling submissive and unhappy.
...
Indeed, Republican men “felt significantly more controlled, submissive, unhappy and unpleasant at the moment of the outcome” than those who voted for Obama, the researchers wrote. “Moreover, since the dominance hierarchy shift following a presidential election is stable for four years, the stress of having one’s political party lose control of executive policy decisions could plausibly lead to continued testosterone suppression in males.”
So the next time some conservative commentator talks about how some liberal policy enacted by the liberals in Congress and the White House is damaging the masculinity of the country and pussifying it, just know that he's speaking from experience and scientific evidence. In fact were he to drop his pants on TV, which is what Glenn Beck is two weeks away from doing....tops, you would see the effects of 9+ months of shriveling, shrinkage, and receding. In fact the teabaggers might don't even have the requisite ability to teabag if Obama keeps issuing brutal commands from his throne of skulls. Still, this is a net positive. If there's anything Republicans need, it's less testosterone in their politics.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
FACE~!
Even as the health reform debate rages on ever stupidly, there are still people out there trying to make the case for why good reform is necessary. And wouldn't you know it, some of them are in the Senate. They're intelligent and informed on the subject, so you probably haven't heard them get to speak in a "debate" that only seeks to give time to the most ill informed and politically craven of our elected betters.
But even as we speak there are hearings going on in the Senate Judiciary Committee entitled Medical Debt: Can Bankruptcy Reform Facilitate a Fresh Start. In the hearing a conservative analyst, Hudson Institute Senior Fellow Diana Furchtgott-Roth, was trying to explain (read: lie) that moving towards a more European style health system that covered everyone would actually increase medical bankruptcies, currently responsible for 62% of all bankruptcies. Al Franken had a few questions regarding that assertion.
One question: are there any other comedy writers out there that want to run for office? This Franken thing is certainly working out better and more substantively than just electing business leaders, career politicians, rich boys, and small state governors. Well done, Minnesota. This still doesn't forgive you for Bachmann.
But even as we speak there are hearings going on in the Senate Judiciary Committee entitled Medical Debt: Can Bankruptcy Reform Facilitate a Fresh Start. In the hearing a conservative analyst, Hudson Institute Senior Fellow Diana Furchtgott-Roth, was trying to explain (read: lie) that moving towards a more European style health system that covered everyone would actually increase medical bankruptcies, currently responsible for 62% of all bankruptcies. Al Franken had a few questions regarding that assertion.
FRANKEN: I think we disagree on whether health care reform, the health care reform that we’re talking about in Congress now should pass. You said that the way we’re going will increase bankruptcies. I want to ask you, how many medical bankruptcies because of medical crises were there last year in Switzerland?It was at this point that Chairman Pat Leahy had it officially entered into the record that Furchtgott-Rott had "totally gotten her ass served." Russ Feingold was seen to put his hand over his mouth and scream out "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn" while Herb Kohl stood up with his arms out, barking "Health care reform! What? Health care reform! What?"
FURCHTGOTT-ROTT: I don’t have that number in front of me, but I can find out and get back to you.
FRANKEN: I can tell you how many it was. It’s zero. Do you know how many medical bankruptcies there were last year in France?
FURCHTGOTT-ROTT: I don’t have that number, but I can get back to you if I like.
FRANKEN: Yeah, the number is zero. Do you know how many were in Germany?
FURCHTGOTT-ROTT: From the trend of your questions, I’m assuming the number is zero. But I don’t know the precise number and would have to get back to you.
FRANKEN: Well, you’re very good. Very fast. The point is, I think we need to go in that direction, not the opposite direction.
One question: are there any other comedy writers out there that want to run for office? This Franken thing is certainly working out better and more substantively than just electing business leaders, career politicians, rich boys, and small state governors. Well done, Minnesota. This still doesn't forgive you for Bachmann.
Too damn high
The New York Mayoral primaries are coming up and really, everyone is wondering who will get the critical These Bastards endorsement. Naked Cowboy? One of the socialists? The sarcastic writing in of Giuliani's name? (He will keep those homeless furnaces lit) Will we just advise staying home because it's all pointless because the billionaire will win? No. If there's one thing we can all agree on about New York it's that the C.H.U.D.S. will kill you if you go out late at night the rent is too high. Strike that: too DAMN high. There's one man that agrees. His name is Jimmy McMillan. Let him tell you.
Are you sold yet? No? What if I were to tell you that not only does he have a campaign song, but he also has a second campaign song. Not only is he fighting against high rents (too damn high rents) he's also fighting against a capricious election board that stripped the damn out of his Rent Is Too Damn High Party name. But he isn't taking it lying down.
Jim-may~! Whatcha gon' do, the people in New York need you! The rent the rent the rent the rent is tooo damn hiiiiiigh!
Are you sold yet? No? What if I were to tell you that not only does he have a campaign song, but he also has a second campaign song. Not only is he fighting against high rents (too damn high rents) he's also fighting against a capricious election board that stripped the damn out of his Rent Is Too Damn High Party name. But he isn't taking it lying down.
"I had a hell of a day, man. I would love to put on my website that the Board of Elections can suck my dick, I would love to do that, but I got little children going to my website, I can't do it, the motherfuckers. I would love to, before every one of them go to bed at night, suckin' my damn dick. That's what I'd love to put on my website. Every fuckin' one of them, you know. "The man's got my vote. Hell, I don't even live in New York. I'm writing him in for the Pittsburgh mayor's race.
...
It was at this point we decided to stop Mr. McMillan and get him to speak on the record. Turns out he already had been. "You're saying that everything you just said can be on the record?" we confirmed. "Everything I just said. Suck my fuckin' dick, the fuckin' board, every fuckin' one of them."
Jim-may~! Whatcha gon' do, the people in New York need you! The rent the rent the rent the rent is tooo damn hiiiiiigh!
The Nipping Point on health care reform?
We should have thought of this months ago. Below is MoveOn's new health care ad, which equates a robust public option to, well, the robust bouncing warlocks of a sprinting Heather Graham.
This might be what puts us over the top. After all, we'll need a public option to handle all of the wrist injuries stemming from this ad.
This might be what puts us over the top. After all, we'll need a public option to handle all of the wrist injuries stemming from this ad.
Hey, she was asking for it
As Matthew mentioned in yesterday's Cheap Blogging Crutch, 30 Senate Republicans are lined up to oppose an amendment requiring defense contractors to provide access to U.S. courts in cases involving rape or sexual assault. For convenience's sake, should any of you wish to make a phone call or two (or thirty), the deftly assembled Republicans for Rape is here to help.
Some of the names will sound very familiar (John McCain, Jeff Sessions), some are amongst our favorite whipping boys (Lindsey Graham, Pat Roberts), and some are worth mentioning because, in this or most any context, their names are hilarious (Mike Crapo, Sam Brownback). But what unites them all -- apart from the old, rich white guy thing -- is their willingness to go on record in support of restricting the legal rights of sexual assault victims employed by the United States government.
So I say, support these brave patriots. After all, if holding our military contractors responsible for their actions were easy, we'd have been doing it all along.
Some of the names will sound very familiar (John McCain, Jeff Sessions), some are amongst our favorite whipping boys (Lindsey Graham, Pat Roberts), and some are worth mentioning because, in this or most any context, their names are hilarious (Mike Crapo, Sam Brownback). But what unites them all -- apart from the old, rich white guy thing -- is their willingness to go on record in support of restricting the legal rights of sexual assault victims employed by the United States government.
So I say, support these brave patriots. After all, if holding our military contractors responsible for their actions were easy, we'd have been doing it all along.
Picture of the day
via the Big Picture blog and NASA's Cassini spacecraft, comes a look at Saturn as a part of the Equinox Mission, slated to end in 2010. There is a plan to keep Cassini in orbit taking photos until 2017, including photos from inside the rings, but more funding is needed. To pique interest NASA added a proposal to crash Cassini into Saturn at the end of the mission. Moon War moves to the giants of our solar system. I like it!
Broken News: “Poison free” label marks death of food marketing
FAIRFIELD, CT—America's agribusiness industries announced today that the entirety of the food marketing and labeling industry had died a painful death in concert with the latest release of Pepperidge Farm’s Cheddar Cheese and Bacon Goldfish Crackers. Cited as the reason for this announcement was the product's packaging, which features a large sticker proclaiming “As Always: Poison Free!!!”
While most of these groups were in agreement that things had gone too far and that maybe everyone should retreat in solitude to make a stark assessment of their chosen professions, dissenting voices responded almost immediately.
“I just don’t understand what the fuss is all about,” said an incredulous Douglas Conant, CEO of Pepperidge Farm’s parent corporation the Campbell Soup Company. “Our product has always had the highest safety standards and we simply wish to highlight our long and proud history of not putting any industrial-grade poisons or corrosive chemicals into our snack crackers.”
“Besides,” he added. “It’s not like they complained when we slapped 'No Trans Fats' on everything. I think this will all blow over once we re-launch our chicken noodle soups with the slogan ‘Just chicken, no rat meat'.”
However, some industry observers see this as just the first wave of products declaring the absence of any noxious ingredients coupled with the mildly slanderous implication that other products contain said killing ingredients, a process that began with trans fat labeling for products that that had never contained them.
Indeed, by mid-morning Nabisco had announced that boxes of their Teddy Grahams brand of cookies would declare the absence of any small shards of glass or metal shavings.
“This is just the beginning,” observed marketing analyst Henry Southern. “Soon it’ll be an unending deluge of proclamations about the absence of crystal meth, date rape drugs, sand, rusty nails, Islamofascism, chemical compounds that turn you gay… whatever people are afraid of these days. Then it’ll move to ads saying ‘Drink Pepsi: Because you don’t want to signal the world that it’s OK to rape you’ or ‘Eat Yoplait: Because you know the Holocaust happened… or don’t you?’. It’s all downhill from here. They’ve breached the final decency barrier.
"But this...this has been coming to a head for a long time," he concluded.
Southern pointed to lax marketing standards allowing anything grown in the ground to be labeled "organic," as well as the permission to declare anything not assembled from proteins in a large vat my cackling scientists as "natural". He also noted the lack of standards and creativity in the creation of new products.
For some, this declaration of the death of food marketing just reminds them of the last time the food industry, pent up with revulsion for itself, declared the death of marketing and creativity: last year's release of Doritos Artisan Vanilla Mojito Chipotle flavor chips. 'Artisan,' of course, referring to the process of omitting the irregular chips the food processing machine stamped out.
"Oh God, those were horrid," remembered food historian Jasper Williams. "But we saw it coming. I mean those were the only three flavors anyone had come up with in years and they were bound to be combined somehow, someway. I thought the 'Extreme' version of the chips as well as the 'Gamer Edition' were a little beyond the pale, but that's what they do. We've moved past it, though. They started making cherry a central flavor again and someone thought up the wasabi flavor. They'll be back to trumping up non-existent health benefits and vitamins in no time."
All of this was of little concern to Conant and the Campbell’s company, which noted that if people wanted to eat Progresso brand soups that may or may not be entirely comprised of rat or possum meat, or sample Ritz crackers that may use strychnine to achieve their trademark buttery flavor, that it was fine with him. He just wanted to make sure people knew that the Campbell’s and Pepperidge Farm brands contained no such substances.
“Frankly it’s just a tiny labeling issue. Whether it slowly degrades the ability of the American people to mentally withstand the process of shopping in a supermarket and slowly chips away at the point of language and meaning of words isn’t my concern,” Conant observed.
“Besides, we’re excited about new products we’re going to launch. We’ve been working with the National Corn Growers Association to create a line of apples, cabbages, and cucumbers that are entirely made out of corn syrup. That, my friends, is the future.”
Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.21
House Cuts Health Bill Price To $871 Billion
The House, otherwise known as the tolerable part of government, has moved towards extending a large middle finger to the Senate by crafting a bill that is not only $871 billion, but reduces the deficit, and includes a strong public option. Meanwhile 52 members of the Senate generally support the same exact thing, but debate is held up by 5 conservative democrats who aren't sure and a debate over whether to have a debate about the public option. Don't you just love those little scamps.
Admiral: I can empty Guantánamo camps in 10 days
For all the talk and feckless handwringing about how the Administration just doesn't know if it can close America's Shame in the time it said it could, the military wants everyone to be clear that it isn't the one sitting with its dick in its hand. All he needs are some planes, ferries, or even those boats they used to storm Normandy on D-Day. Hell he can empty Gitmo in 15 minutes provided he has enough ammunition. The point is, as always, that it's Washington fucking up again.
Man of Extremes: The Return of James Cameron
The New Yorker gives an extensive look at the upcoming film Avatar and its creator, an apparently pompus man-baby blowhard James Cameron. Marvel at the monkey and football fucking related zingers he hurls at the crew. Gawk gape mouthed at the discussion he has with digital effects powerhouse WETA where he gets into an intense discussion and praise over tooth translucence, light transmission in gill membranes, and quadrate bones. Listen to enough interminable bullshit about how the digital effects are so good, technology, and how you won't be able to tell which is the CG character and which is the human that you know this movie isn't going to be good. But the light transmission in the teeth of CG monsters will be exquisite.
Iran To Consider Draft Russia Nuclear Deal, Say Diplomats
Diplomacy suffers another brutal blow as Iranian negotiations show support for a plan that would have them send their enriched uranium to Russia for processing, delaying their nuclear bomb capabilities, and ensuring that they can only be used as fuel in a power station, which is what Iran has been claiming it's for anyway. Now how are we going to get our war? We called their bluff and are in the process of relenting and accepting a plan based on the proposals of International Atomic Energy Agency chief Mohamed ElBaradei. I'm sure we could have achieved all of this with a well placed missile strike.
Grandparents sued for keeping girl
It's times like these, when the economy is bad and the housing market is rough, that its heartwarming to see a community band together in the face of adversity. Shame that didn't happen here, where a neighborhood association is suing two grandparents for violating a rule which states that people have to be 55 to reside there, just because they decided to take care of their granddaughter after her drug addled mother disappeared. The grandparents can't sell the house because of the market, can't afford to move without the house selling because of the economy, and the lawsuit could result in the child being put in foster care. Yup, that was the sound of humanity hitting a new low.
The House, otherwise known as the tolerable part of government, has moved towards extending a large middle finger to the Senate by crafting a bill that is not only $871 billion, but reduces the deficit, and includes a strong public option. Meanwhile 52 members of the Senate generally support the same exact thing, but debate is held up by 5 conservative democrats who aren't sure and a debate over whether to have a debate about the public option. Don't you just love those little scamps.
Admiral: I can empty Guantánamo camps in 10 days
For all the talk and feckless handwringing about how the Administration just doesn't know if it can close America's Shame in the time it said it could, the military wants everyone to be clear that it isn't the one sitting with its dick in its hand. All he needs are some planes, ferries, or even those boats they used to storm Normandy on D-Day. Hell he can empty Gitmo in 15 minutes provided he has enough ammunition. The point is, as always, that it's Washington fucking up again.
Man of Extremes: The Return of James Cameron
The New Yorker gives an extensive look at the upcoming film Avatar and its creator, an apparently pompus man-baby blowhard James Cameron. Marvel at the monkey and football fucking related zingers he hurls at the crew. Gawk gape mouthed at the discussion he has with digital effects powerhouse WETA where he gets into an intense discussion and praise over tooth translucence, light transmission in gill membranes, and quadrate bones. Listen to enough interminable bullshit about how the digital effects are so good, technology, and how you won't be able to tell which is the CG character and which is the human that you know this movie isn't going to be good. But the light transmission in the teeth of CG monsters will be exquisite.
Iran To Consider Draft Russia Nuclear Deal, Say Diplomats
Diplomacy suffers another brutal blow as Iranian negotiations show support for a plan that would have them send their enriched uranium to Russia for processing, delaying their nuclear bomb capabilities, and ensuring that they can only be used as fuel in a power station, which is what Iran has been claiming it's for anyway. Now how are we going to get our war? We called their bluff and are in the process of relenting and accepting a plan based on the proposals of International Atomic Energy Agency chief Mohamed ElBaradei. I'm sure we could have achieved all of this with a well placed missile strike.
Grandparents sued for keeping girl
It's times like these, when the economy is bad and the housing market is rough, that its heartwarming to see a community band together in the face of adversity. Shame that didn't happen here, where a neighborhood association is suing two grandparents for violating a rule which states that people have to be 55 to reside there, just because they decided to take care of their granddaughter after her drug addled mother disappeared. The grandparents can't sell the house because of the market, can't afford to move without the house selling because of the economy, and the lawsuit could result in the child being put in foster care. Yup, that was the sound of humanity hitting a new low.
I have an idea for a new themed pizza chain
Bernie Madoff is back in the news again as another civil lawsuit was filed against him, trying to get back all that money he stole. That's going to be a problem. If they want that money, they'll have to invent time travel, go back to 1975, outwit two streetwise toughs, infiltrate "a culture of sexual deviance", and then dig that money out of Bernie's nose.
Still I'd like to know the context of the whole "eats pizza cooked by a child molester" thing. Is that a reference to how far he's fallen, a "Look at what he's been reduced to" type thing? Or is it more of a "Haw haw" type thing? Because if it's the former, I reject the notion that child molester pizza is a bad thing. I mean if you want to lure children you have to get them with things they like, namely pizza. The man can probably whip up a good pie, not to mention chicken fingers and grilled cheeses. That's a benefit Madoff is getting.
In any event that entire story is full of win. Stealing billions to fuel drug and sex parties, hanging out with mobsters and Israeli agents, fight club, a kid diddler making pizzas piled high with pepperoni, and I'm sure he's being invited to all kinds of prison sex parties as well. His life is still better than all the people he bankrupted.
Fallen financier Bernard Madoff has plunged from his Manhattan penthouse to the lower bunk of a cell he shares with a drug offender at a federal prison, where he eats pizza cooked by a child molester and hangs around with a mob boss and a convicted spy, according to legal papers filed Tuesday.I refuse to accept the possibility that coke and hookers were used to excess at any time on Wall Street. Still, I wonder if "the North Pole" was only a reference to cocaine part of the drug fueled orgies. God I hope not.
...
According to the allegations – their source isn't specified – Madoff deployed an employee and to get drugs from 1975 to 2003, fueling an office so cocaine-laden insiders dubbed it "the North Pole." Office parties featured topless waitresses, employee affairs were common and Madoff kept a list of his favorite pretty masseuses in his personal phone book, the lawsuit said, claiming investors' money helped pay for it all.
Still I'd like to know the context of the whole "eats pizza cooked by a child molester" thing. Is that a reference to how far he's fallen, a "Look at what he's been reduced to" type thing? Or is it more of a "Haw haw" type thing? Because if it's the former, I reject the notion that child molester pizza is a bad thing. I mean if you want to lure children you have to get them with things they like, namely pizza. The man can probably whip up a good pie, not to mention chicken fingers and grilled cheeses. That's a benefit Madoff is getting.
In any event that entire story is full of win. Stealing billions to fuel drug and sex parties, hanging out with mobsters and Israeli agents, fight club, a kid diddler making pizzas piled high with pepperoni, and I'm sure he's being invited to all kinds of prison sex parties as well. His life is still better than all the people he bankrupted.
Your morning cryptic quote about health care
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, giving a master class on how not to inspire confidence on health care
Sen. Tom Harkin is saying there's 52 solid votes for a public option in the Senate. But because everything is filibustered now that means to add a public option into the bill on the floor, the public option has to have 60 votes for it or against it to get it in or out. Which it doesn't in either case. So in other words: the public option has to be in there before it gets to the floor or else it isn't ever going to get in. So...I guess it's good that they're at least working up the guts to have a talk about possibly considering a debate about the run up to having an opinion about possibly putting a public option in. Maybe.
I guess that's as positive a statement as you can get about Democratic leadership these days: they at least haven't ruled out the best option for actual reform and coverage that vast majorities of the American people, their own party, and their own elected members support. Let's lean towards talking about not hitting them with sticks.
A reporter tried to pin Reid down by asking whether negotiations were moving towards, or against, the inclusion of the public plan.....Good? I guess that's a positive.....or a negative.....or....what? Leaning towards talking about a public option? A debate over over whether to have a debate?
“The negotiations are leaning about a public option,” Reid said.
Asked for clarification by puzzled reporters, Reid added: “We’re leaning towards talking about a public option.”
Sen. Tom Harkin is saying there's 52 solid votes for a public option in the Senate. But because everything is filibustered now that means to add a public option into the bill on the floor, the public option has to have 60 votes for it or against it to get it in or out. Which it doesn't in either case. So in other words: the public option has to be in there before it gets to the floor or else it isn't ever going to get in. So...I guess it's good that they're at least working up the guts to have a talk about possibly considering a debate about the run up to having an opinion about possibly putting a public option in. Maybe.
I guess that's as positive a statement as you can get about Democratic leadership these days: they at least haven't ruled out the best option for actual reform and coverage that vast majorities of the American people, their own party, and their own elected members support. Let's lean towards talking about not hitting them with sticks.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The future
I feel you need to see something. It is possibly the purest distillation of everything crazy the fringe right wing has concocted about Barack Hussein Obama in the few short months he's been elected. It might be the greatest thing ever. Even better yet, it's an online game. Gaze upon the majesty of the United States of Earth.
And that's just the banner at the top of the page! There's a whole treasure trove underneath it.
Because simply providing a few warped paragraphs on our all but certain future would hardly sustain the game, there are also breaking news updates of the things that are going on....in the future. Some of the headlines: Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Found Dead in Camp, Former V.P. Joe Biden Captured Outside Arlington, Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail, Hillary Clinton narrowly Evades Militia Near Fredericksburg, Sarah Palin The Patriot Leads Revolt Against Hamas. That's right the story line encompasses a world where Hamas aligns itself with Obama, engages in door to door beheadings of disloyal Americans, and are finally beaten back by the combined strength of armies led by Palin, Malkin, and Breitbart. Not to mention a scenario where Joe Biden is captured after a Sean Hannity led Texas Militia kills Joe's Islamic Warrior Guard. Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh killed in FEMA camps. A Mexico/Canada/America super country.
I literally cannot do the full scope of this site justice. Go check it out. It is not possible to parody this site. It is so serious and so insane that it parodies itself completely and thoroughly. You will never find anything that sums up the Beck/Teabagger mindset better.
And that's just the banner at the top of the page! There's a whole treasure trove underneath it.
The United States is a creation of "racists and warmongers," Obama says to a stunned America, and is to be replaced by the North American People's Union. In the course of this very broadcast, Obama, with two simple pen strokes, signs the "treaties" into law. One dissolves the United States and its Constitution, and the other disarms what is left of the gun-owning United States citizenry, as part and parcel of a United Nations Treaty to ban all firearms, which had already been signed into law by over 40 nations. The Marxist Coup Had begun!That's right and all that follows reads like the fevered dream of a Glenn Beck viewer who has Red Dawn on a constant loop on his TV. Someone who has read the Turner Diaries over...and over and over and over again until hand & penis chafing resulting from constantly masturbating to it forces him to stop.
...
Private ownership of firearms has been outlawed, and Obama promises a new era of equality and peace. Unfortunately for Obama, Americans will not act like the sheep he has taken them for. Revolution begins.
Because simply providing a few warped paragraphs on our all but certain future would hardly sustain the game, there are also breaking news updates of the things that are going on....in the future. Some of the headlines: Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Found Dead in Camp, Former V.P. Joe Biden Captured Outside Arlington, Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail, Hillary Clinton narrowly Evades Militia Near Fredericksburg, Sarah Palin The Patriot Leads Revolt Against Hamas. That's right the story line encompasses a world where Hamas aligns itself with Obama, engages in door to door beheadings of disloyal Americans, and are finally beaten back by the combined strength of armies led by Palin, Malkin, and Breitbart. Not to mention a scenario where Joe Biden is captured after a Sean Hannity led Texas Militia kills Joe's Islamic Warrior Guard. Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh killed in FEMA camps. A Mexico/Canada/America super country.
I literally cannot do the full scope of this site justice. Go check it out. It is not possible to parody this site. It is so serious and so insane that it parodies itself completely and thoroughly. You will never find anything that sums up the Beck/Teabagger mindset better.
A request
I know we're fond of making requests here. Laugh at this, deride that, obey this, burn that, kill that. But Sean and I would like to once make a selfish request for us. By which I mean in addition to the near daily requests for power, prestige, and influence that you have failed to deliver to us. Anyway, we want one of these:
Probably two, hopefully a fleet. It's the $170,000 WaterCar Python. It is essentially a Corvette combined with a luxury speedboat. Autopia says it "offends all five sense on land and water" but they failed to count the offenses towards any sense of decency, dignity, or the kind of taste that allows you to discern what is aesthetically pleasing.
I'm not allowed to tell you what they're for, but it does involve an invasion of a sort. So please, if you're one of the many billionaires and rich Arab oil sheiks who I'm certain read this blog, buy us a couple dozen. We'll supply our own quasi-militaristic garb and loudspeakers blaring "Flight of the Valkyries."
Probably two, hopefully a fleet. It's the $170,000 WaterCar Python. It is essentially a Corvette combined with a luxury speedboat. Autopia says it "offends all five sense on land and water" but they failed to count the offenses towards any sense of decency, dignity, or the kind of taste that allows you to discern what is aesthetically pleasing.
I'm not allowed to tell you what they're for, but it does involve an invasion of a sort. So please, if you're one of the many billionaires and rich Arab oil sheiks who I'm certain read this blog, buy us a couple dozen. We'll supply our own quasi-militaristic garb and loudspeakers blaring "Flight of the Valkyries."
Picture of the day
The 2009 National Geographic International Photography Contest is underway and below are some examples of past winners for the contest, which is in its third year. The deadline for photo submission lasts until the end of the month. So if you think that iPhone shot you took of your buddy passed out with the expertly drawn dick and balls on his face can place in the People category, you better send it in soon.
Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.20
Stumping With Mayor, Giuliani Stirs Old Fears
While earlier we were marveling at Glenn Beck's ability to weave conspiracy out of nothing, sometimes you have to show a little respect for the masters of the old arts. Like engendering fear of anyone with darker skin than the Irish. So please, a little respect for Nounverb9/11 Giuliani, who hit the stage for NY Mayor Bloomberg to remind people of the fear they used to fear walking the streets at night, pausing then intoning You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He then paused again, scanned the room and said "You know....BLACKS!!!" He then left to go dig up the corpse of a 9/11 victim so he could rummage through the pockets for any loose change or paper money.
Barnes & Noble’s Kindle Killing, Dual Screen ‘Nook’ E-Reader Leaked
Hey, can you hear that sound? It's Amazon shitting its pants over a new e-reader that is not only designed well, but is going to be linked to a Barnes & Noble operation that will sell e-books cheaper, be able to use books from the Google books project, and will let you lend e-books to friends. Lend them. That's it, game over Amazon, game over. If this thing can show porn, they can lure the lucrative 18-54 high tech pervert market. Which is to say, Sean and myself. He's been hankering for a well designed way to watch hardcore porn on the subway for years. Those nuns he sits next to won't know what hit them.
Wall St. Giants Reluctant to Donate to Democrats
Awww, and after they've done so much for the Wall Street community. Actually, this states that they aren't so much as reluctant to donate to Democrats, but to donate to them in public. Which shows they've learned something. Shame they haven't learned anything about banking, financial markets, or sanity. Still only half a dozen Goldman-Sachs execs are going to be at a Democratic Party fundraiser with President Obama. That sounds low, but you have to remember that most Goldman execs already have jobs working in the administration.
Secret Service strained as leaders face more threats
I guess we expected this when we elected a black guy, but it's always nice to see your predictions that American racist extremists would show themselves in great numbers come horrifyingly true. In fact the Secret Service is so strained at investigating racists that there's talk of them abandoning their counterfeiting and financial crimes work to concentrate on the freaks. That's always good to hear that a protective agency is so overworked from an overwhelming number of crazies. America! America! God shed his grace on thee. And crown thy good with brotherhood. From sea to shining sea!
Defense Department Opposed Franken's Anti-Rape Amendment
Charming. As if it wasn't enough that 30 white conservative men thought that allowing people to prosecute rape and sexual abuse as, you know, crimes, was too onerous a burden to the field of contract law, we need the Defense Department to second that motion. Oh, they swear they're totally against rape, it's just that enforcing Franken's law would be totally hard. Well then, if that's the case let's just keep contractor rape legal. We wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone.
While earlier we were marveling at Glenn Beck's ability to weave conspiracy out of nothing, sometimes you have to show a little respect for the masters of the old arts. Like engendering fear of anyone with darker skin than the Irish. So please, a little respect for Nounverb9/11 Giuliani, who hit the stage for NY Mayor Bloomberg to remind people of the fear they used to fear walking the streets at night, pausing then intoning You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He then paused again, scanned the room and said "You know....BLACKS!!!" He then left to go dig up the corpse of a 9/11 victim so he could rummage through the pockets for any loose change or paper money.
Barnes & Noble’s Kindle Killing, Dual Screen ‘Nook’ E-Reader Leaked
Hey, can you hear that sound? It's Amazon shitting its pants over a new e-reader that is not only designed well, but is going to be linked to a Barnes & Noble operation that will sell e-books cheaper, be able to use books from the Google books project, and will let you lend e-books to friends. Lend them. That's it, game over Amazon, game over. If this thing can show porn, they can lure the lucrative 18-54 high tech pervert market. Which is to say, Sean and myself. He's been hankering for a well designed way to watch hardcore porn on the subway for years. Those nuns he sits next to won't know what hit them.
Wall St. Giants Reluctant to Donate to Democrats
Awww, and after they've done so much for the Wall Street community. Actually, this states that they aren't so much as reluctant to donate to Democrats, but to donate to them in public. Which shows they've learned something. Shame they haven't learned anything about banking, financial markets, or sanity. Still only half a dozen Goldman-Sachs execs are going to be at a Democratic Party fundraiser with President Obama. That sounds low, but you have to remember that most Goldman execs already have jobs working in the administration.
Secret Service strained as leaders face more threats
I guess we expected this when we elected a black guy, but it's always nice to see your predictions that American racist extremists would show themselves in great numbers come horrifyingly true. In fact the Secret Service is so strained at investigating racists that there's talk of them abandoning their counterfeiting and financial crimes work to concentrate on the freaks. That's always good to hear that a protective agency is so overworked from an overwhelming number of crazies. America! America! God shed his grace on thee. And crown thy good with brotherhood. From sea to shining sea!
Defense Department Opposed Franken's Anti-Rape Amendment
Charming. As if it wasn't enough that 30 white conservative men thought that allowing people to prosecute rape and sexual abuse as, you know, crimes, was too onerous a burden to the field of contract law, we need the Defense Department to second that motion. Oh, they swear they're totally against rape, it's just that enforcing Franken's law would be totally hard. Well then, if that's the case let's just keep contractor rape legal. We wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone.
Stay classy, South Carolina
Listen South Carolina, I know it hasn't been a good year for you. You governor went patrolling for Argentine trim on the "Appalachian Trail", you had that congressman yell out "you lie" during the President's health care speech, you had one of your county GOP chairs make a gorilla/Michelle Obama racist crack, and you have the House Majority Whip saying that the First Lady can't visit the state because of Secret Service/White House concerns over her safety. With all that and your....we'll say "checkered" racial history, why would any politician from your state think it was a good idea to interject Jewish stereotypes into a purported defense of Senator Jim "Make health care Obama's Waterloo" DeMint.
There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves. By not using earmarks to fund projects for South Carolina and instead using actual bills, DeMint is watching our nation’s pennies and trying to preserve our country’s wealth and our economy’s viability to give all an opportunity to succeed.Oof. Ronan Tynan feels your pain. I'm just glad no one from your state GOP remembered any Jewish banking conspiracy theories during the whole bailout period. I guess you were all still worked up over the black President thing and prepping your really good Obama/gorilla material and aspirin related racist jokes. Just a suggestion: if the next time you or any politician in the state wants to make a joke, comparison, defense, or attack on something and the first thing that pops into your head is a racist stereotype, pause and try to think of something else. If you can't think of anything other than racist stereotypes then that's God telling you that you shouldn't talk in public ever.
Whew, crisis averted
Ladies and gentlemen we have averted a crisis. Hamid Karzai has accepted the results of the UN's Electoral Complaints Commission and will consent to a second round of voting. That means we get to add 40,000-70,000 news troops on the ground! Oh and something about democracy, constitutional something something, rule of law, and blah blah blah. 40,000-70,000 more troops!
At least it'll remove all the uncomfortable silences from the track we used to be on, where we talk about not escalating until we do a "careful assessment" of the Afghan government...and then escalate anyway while Karzai refuses to allow a new election. Now we get to say "Sure he rigged an election, but when everyone pointed it out he admitted it and allowed the second round of voting to commence" and proceed with moving more troops in. I know that doesn't sound good, but you just made the tiny mistake of thinking about it. Don't concentrate so much on the "rigged an election part" and focus more on the "allowed the second round" part. Still don't think about it too hard, just bathe in the light of the "allow" and start to feel good about 40,000-70,000 more troops in Afghanistan. No, I can see you thought about it again, I saw that ugly look on your face. Stop. "Allow", "great leadership", "great opportunity", happy thoughts, good feelings.
Afghanistan will hold a second round of voting on 7 November after an election panel reluctantly accepted that massive fraud took place in August's poll, which President Hamid Karzai was declared to have won.Yeah John, nothing says "great leadership" like finally relenting in your opposition to the multitude on international election agencies and diplomats pointing out, with specific detail and with reams of evidence, specifically how you rigged your election to the tune of a million votes. Karzai is the new Churchill. And that "great opportunity", is that for us to escalate the war without it looking like we support a total despot or for Afghanistan to move forward with only a largely compromised leader who is more and more distrusted by the non-Pashtun ethnic groups in the country?
...
The US senator John Kerry, who was in Kabul for some diplomatic arm-twisting, sought to put the best spin on what has been a chaotic election process. Praising Karzai for his "great leadership", Kerry told reporters: "A great moment of uncertainty has been transformed into a time of great opportunity.
...
"It was feared that Karzai was preparing to reject the UN Electoral Complaints Commission's (ECC) findings of fraud, which had the effect of cutting his total by 954,526 votes and reducing his percentage of the vote from 55% to 48.3%.
At least it'll remove all the uncomfortable silences from the track we used to be on, where we talk about not escalating until we do a "careful assessment" of the Afghan government...and then escalate anyway while Karzai refuses to allow a new election. Now we get to say "Sure he rigged an election, but when everyone pointed it out he admitted it and allowed the second round of voting to commence" and proceed with moving more troops in. I know that doesn't sound good, but you just made the tiny mistake of thinking about it. Don't concentrate so much on the "rigged an election part" and focus more on the "allowed the second round" part. Still don't think about it too hard, just bathe in the light of the "allow" and start to feel good about 40,000-70,000 more troops in Afghanistan. No, I can see you thought about it again, I saw that ugly look on your face. Stop. "Allow", "great leadership", "great opportunity", happy thoughts, good feelings.
The morning WTF
Did you ever think that a simple call to volunteer could be linked to such a global conspiracy to render America into a mindless drone army of communists doing the every bidding of Chairman Maobama? You don't think like Glenn Beck. Really, this is such a sight to behold. He can take anything and spin it into a sinister web of liberal corporations trying to enact the Fourth Reich. Volunteering is the new communism? Yup. Beck has a gift. He's a conspiracy idiot savant. Marvel at him.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Pollings
Next time a Senator tries to tell the public that there just isn't support for a public option, they can only pass a week kneed version, or that American's don't want one, I hope someone there has the good decency to spit in their eye. The only people who are opposed to the public option are in the Senate.
With news like this, Nancy Pelosi attempting to shame the Senate into a public option bill using CBO numbers as a bludgeon, 52 Democratic Senators thinking that maybe the five holdouts ought to get the fuck onboard, and rumors of competence from Harry Reid, is it too much to get my hopes up? Probably yes, as on the other hand Reid is Reid, Obama lost his balls somewhere during his acceptance speech, and Senate negotiations involve one actual human who is unequivocally for the public option and knows how to breathe through his nostrils. As is always the case with the Senate: lower your expectations. Lower them to the point where Max Baucus coming to burn down your house is a pleasant surprise. It's the only way to keep sane.
On the issue that has been a flash point in the national debate, 57 percent of all Americans now favor a public insurance option, while 40 percent are opposed. Support has risen since mid-August, when a bare majority, 52 percent, said they favored it. (In a June Post-ABC poll, support had been at 62 percent.)Furthermore 56% favor making it mandatory for all Americans to buy insurance with the number jumping to 71% if government provides subsidies for lower income folks. Of note is the fact that the poll also asked specifically if people would prefer a public option bill with no Republican support or a bipartisan bill with no public option. The public option beat bipartisanship 51% to 37%. Americans prefer a good bill to the Senate wanking itself off. I think I just heard Max Baucus die a little inside.
If run by the states and available only to those who lack affordable private options, support for a public plan jumps to 76 percent. Under those circumstances, even a majority of Republicans, 56 percent, would be supportive, about double their level of support without such a limitation.
With news like this, Nancy Pelosi attempting to shame the Senate into a public option bill using CBO numbers as a bludgeon, 52 Democratic Senators thinking that maybe the five holdouts ought to get the fuck onboard, and rumors of competence from Harry Reid, is it too much to get my hopes up? Probably yes, as on the other hand Reid is Reid, Obama lost his balls somewhere during his acceptance speech, and Senate negotiations involve one actual human who is unequivocally for the public option and knows how to breathe through his nostrils. As is always the case with the Senate: lower your expectations. Lower them to the point where Max Baucus coming to burn down your house is a pleasant surprise. It's the only way to keep sane.
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