Retro crazy

Harry Reid is a happy man. The terminally pathetic Senate Majority Leader was looking to get handily trounced in his re-election efforts. Mostly because of the pathetic spinelessness thing. But he's seen his fortunes rise as it was revealed that almost all of his Republican opponents were crazy.

The biggest battle in the GOP primary was between two women: Sharron Angle, a teabagger, and Sue Lowden, the one who wanted our health care system to be based on the barter of chickens. In the end, last night, Reid lucked out as the crazier one won. By which I mean the teabagger.

But, lest we think we're about to enter a grand new era of crazy conspiracies about government run concentration camps, secession, abortion causing breast cancer, eliminating social security and medicare, and other various fringey talking points, Angle wants you to know that she's bringing back some of the classics in paranoid American conspiracy theories. I'm talking about fluoridation.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal reported in April 1999 that the state assembly, of which Angle was a member, voted 26-16 for a bill that required fluoridation in two counties including the cities of Reno and Las Vegas.
...
Before the vote, Assemblywoman Sharron Angle, R-Reno, sought to postpone the vote so she could add an amendment to block fluoridation in Washoe County. The Washoe County Commission in 1992 rejected fluoridation, and Angle said the Legislature should not approve fluoridation in her county.
...
[Bill proponent Chris Giunchigliani] attributed the reluctance of Angle and others to back the bill to its potential financial effect on Washoe County.

But Angle said she simply does not like fluoride.

So, if you're looking for a Senate candidate who is looking out to protect your precious bodily fluids from contamination by the international Communist conspiracy, Sharron Angle is the woman for you. They will not sap and impurify out precious bodily fluids!

In case you were wondering, that's the only way to make Harry Reid a palatable alternative. Amazing that the Nevada GOP found a way to do it. Stunning really.

Caving

The financial reform debate has raged over the past few days. Republicans have been yelling "We will not allow this to pass". Democrats countering with "Look, what if we ask pretty please." Republicans: "This bill institutionalizes bailouts and is fundamentally un-American. It shall not pass" Democrats: "Maybe if you just negotiated with us a little more. I'm sure there are some concession we could make..." Republicans: "No! We are making our stand! We are unanimously united! Unless we are allowed to make drastic changes to this bill behind closed doors, we will filibuster until the sun burns out!" Democrats: "Well, if that's the way you feel... I guess we'll wheel out the cots and force you to filibuster this thing for real." Republicans: "On second thought....

"Without a single objection, Republicans tonight dropped their three day filibuster of financial reform legislation, agreeing unanimously to debate the Democrats' bill on the Senate floor.

Though clearly a big defeat for the Republicans, their line tonight is that they endured this week's political maelstrom for a substantive reason: to allow Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL) to extract as many concessions out of Banking Committee Chairman Chris Dodd as he could. When Dodd said no more, they relented.

That's all well and good for the GOP to try to coach their relenting on the filibuster as some calculated policy to try to get concessions or a desire to finally get the bill to the floor and make changes For The Good Of The American People, but do you know why the Republicans didn't want to filibuster? One: they were actually going to have to filibuster, not just block a vote and have to put up with a sighing Harry Reid whimpering "C'mon you guys...".

Secondly, Senate Minority Leader and Kentucky Bourbon swiller Mitch McConnell had some important business to get to that he didn't want disrupted by a filibuster: he wanted to go get fucked up on mint juleps surrounded by millionaires and women in overly large hats at the Kentucky Derby. In addition, many influential Republicans, like Richard Shelby (who was trying to negotiate with Dodd over the bill in committee), had fundraisers that were going to be disrupted by the Senate filibuster procedures Reid was forcing.

So let that be a reminder to you, when our elected betters clamor on about The Best Interests of America and This Will Not Stand and Defeat By Any Means Necessary, what they really mean is that they'll oppose something right up untl the point where it'll make them reschedule a trip to suck cash out of donors and miss drinking whisky while watching midgets beat horses. You may know it by another word: principles.

So now the bill finally moves to the Senate floor where everyone has jokingly remarked that they will "improve the bill". Well, there's a first time for everything. I think what they meant to say was "filibuster meaningful changes and maybe sneak in a few loopholes that will cause the next crisis." I'm sure they'll succeed in that area.

Our Betters: A Celebratory Evening in the Oval Office

Barack Obama: Congratulations, Madame Speaker. You did it. We've finally passed the health care bill.

Nancy Pelosi: I can't take all the credit, Mr. President. We all worked to make this happen.

Harry Reid: Fingers crossed, we'll get this through the Senate without much trouble.

(Rahm Emanuel emerges from dumbwaiter)

Emanuel: Mr. President, as soon as you're done sucking each other's dicks, we really need to move on.

(Obama smacks Emanuel with rolled up newspaper)

Obama: Rahm, what did I tell you about using such language in the Oval Office?

Emanuel: Sorry, Mr. President. Won't happen again. Now, if we could just--

(distant jangling of ice in a glass)

Pelosi: What was that?

(barely audible cackling)

Reid: Mr. President, I thought you sent him to Israel?

Emanuel: That was weeks ago, fuckwit.

(Obama sprays water bottle in Emanuel's face)

Emanuel: Sorry, sir.

(off-key singing of "I Wanna be an Airborne Ranger", drawing closer)

Emanuel: Oh, shit.

(Obama shakes coffee can filled with coins)

Obama: SHHH! Ok, everybody. Try to be polite. With any luck, he'll get bored and wander off. And Harry, don't look him in the eye. No one look him in the eye. Remember what happened last time?

Reid: I'd rather not, sir.

(door flies open)

Joe Biden: JOHN BOEHNER CAN LITERALLY SUCK MY FUCKING TAINT!

(throws empty glass against wall)

Biden: How come nobody told me we were celebrating in here? I'd have brought whores. And more liquor. And whores!

(lights fresh cigarillo, throws match on floor)

Obama: Well, Joe, this thing isn't quite over. We're putting together a strategy to--

Biden: My entire ass! We stomped those bitches to jelly! Them and their crazy, racist, tea-bagging vandal underlings. Did you hear those cretins are tossing bricks through windows? This is a big fuckin' deal, people! Holy fuck, I love Democracy!

(produces half-empty bottle of bourbon and four shot glasses from jacket)

Biden: That senate shit can wait a minute. Time to sack up and party. All you bitches, drink my shots!

(punches Reid in the shoulder)

Biden: You like that? One of my poker buddies literally taught me that. I think it's some sort of Native American toast. Or maybe Irish.

(takes long pull on bottle. Everyone drinks. Pelosi coughs. Biden slaps her on the ass. Hard.)

Biden: Haw! Broads in politics. What'll they think of next? Good shit, huh? Hey, Rahm!

Emanuel: Yeah?

(Biden punches Emanuel square in the face. Emanuel crumples to the carpet.)

Biden: Damn, kid, you've got a jaw like a cinderblock. I fuckin' love ya! Know what that taste in your mouth is?

Emanuel: Blood?

Biden: Bullshit! That's the taste of victory, you scheming little cock-puncher! Fuck, we gave 'em the Sioux City Sarsparilla, the ole Tuscaloosa Tango, the Tulsa Tornado, the Birmingham Bromide. We buttered their bean. We peppered their porridge. We fought and bit and scrapped and kicked and....

(Biden starts bobbing and weaving, shadowboxing what is either a small child or large midget.)

Biden: Hoo hah! I'm gonna getcha, you rascal!

(Biden slowly realizes everyone is staring at him and rights himself.)

Biden: Fuck man, be proud! I shat myself twice today, this legislation is so good. Hey Harry, come here.

Reid: I, uh...

Biden: I said get over here!

(Reid walks slowly toward Biden, who puts his hands on Reid's shoulders, tousles his hair and speaks in a fatherly voice.)

Biden: Now, Harry, you know the ball is literally in your court now. This is some serious shit. The Progressive movement has been waiting decades for us to move toward a more just, equitable and affordable health care system. And we are finally on the verge of giving this country just that. Now, when this bill goes over to the senate... hey, why are you staring at the floor?

(Reid looks at ceiling.)

Reid: I... I'm not.

Biden: Goddammit, son. Look me in the eye when I'm talking at you.

(Reid looks at Obama, who sighs and buries his face in his palm.)

Reid: I... uh, I'd rather--

Biden: LOOK ME IN THE FUCKING EYE!

(Reid obliges. Biden's eyes widen and then he just stares into space, a smirk locked in place.)

(The five of them stand there, silent. Emanuel waves a hand slowly in front of Biden's face, which doesn't move.)

Pelosi: Not again...

(Reid whimpers. Biden snaps back into consciousness.)

Biden: Huh? What the... you eyeballin' me, boy?

Reid: No, I, uh...

Biden: I think you are. Only time you stare at something that way is if you plan to fuck it or kill it. You want to fuck me, Harry?

Reid: No! Mr. Vice President, I--

Biden: THEN BATTLE IT IS! DEFEND YOURSELF!

(Biden produces giant claymore, swinging it wildly above his head and chasing Reid around the room.)

Reid: Help! Mr. President! Do something!

Obama: Hey Joe! It's Taco Tuesday in the cafeteria!

(Biden stops running, drops his sword, picks up his whiskey, and smooths out his rumpled suit.)

Biden: Gentlemen. Madame Speaker.

(Biden runs out of room.)

Reid: Thank you, Mr. President.

Pelosi: That was close.

Emanuel: At least the Secret Service confiscated his trident, thank Christ.

(Obama claps once, very loud.)

Obama: Rahm, that goes for blasphemy as well.

Emanuel: Sorry, sir.

One more health care jerk around

The President today finally announced his health care plan. Why? Who the fuck knows. Sadly the plan wasn't "the House passes the Senate bill, the Senate passes the conference committee fixes through reconciliation." No, this is what the White House is calling the "opening bid for the health meeting". You know the one: where Democrats play school marm scold telling Republicans that they really, really need to help out on a health care bill for the good of the country and the Republicans tell the Democrats to cram it with walnuts, ugly. Except on TV this time, while they're all in the same room. You know, productive shit.

What is his "bill"? Well, it's not so much a bill as it is 11 pages of fixes to the Senate and House bills largely built on the framework of the Senate bill. The only new thing, I think, is a proposal federal oversight on the amount of money insurance companies can jack people for in rate hikes. It's all part of the plan.

"This package is designed to help us [use reconciliation] if the Republican party decides to filibuster health care reform," said White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer. "That was certainly a factor that went in to how we put this proposal together."

Pfeiffer said the White House views this as "the opening bid," for the bipartisan health care summit scheduled for this Thursday. The hope--a long shot--is that one or more Republicans can agree to support this proposal, allowing Dems to pass it via more standard legislative channels. But if that fails, reconciliation can be used as a backstop.

"The president expects, and thinks the American people deserve, an up or down vote on health care reform," Pfeiffer said.

I don't want to claim to be able to read minds or see the future (not over the internet without you being able to see my professional tarot setup and crystal ball), but I don't think the Republicans are going to sign on. I think they're going to filibuster. You know, like they do on everything. I think you're going to have to get the House to pass the Senate bill, and have the Senate pass these fixes, some other fixes, that "no seriously, we'll do a public option through reconciliation" thing that I know is just going to be a big, fuck-off joke, or kidnap the family members of the GOP leadership and force them to conduct themselves as responsible leaders.

You might know this as stuff that people have been screaming at you to do since you all decided you had a 41-59 minority. So why do we have to go through this pathetic theater to come to an obvious conclusion everyone saw coming over a year ago? Why couldn't this have happened a month ago? Ah yes, there was that jobs bill to get to that still hasn't been passed and your frantic search for spines. Oh well.

So, the Democrats have a plan of action. The country just has to wait until the meaningless summit where nothing will be accomplished happens. But they have a plan and Harry Reid is promising reconciliation action within 60 days. It's time to get your minuscule hopes for timidly moderate reforms up. I'll see you again when 10 Democrats decide that they aren't able to support the drastic, unprecedented action of using reconciliation and vote to kill the bill. You all know that's where this is going, right?

Time to get jerked around more on health care

It's clear what the main purpose of health care reform is: to jerk so many people around emotionally at such breakneck speeds for the purposes of our elected betters' entertainment. There doesn't seem to be any other explanation. It surely isn't "passing the best bill", as that option went off the table months ago.

If you remember where we last were in the health care debate, Scott Brown had just won in Massachusetts, giving Republicans their 41-59 majority. This of course caused Democrats to inexplicably start concocting new ways to fuck over people and make sure they get defeated in the 2010 elections as they all suddenly decided that finishing the work on the bill that both the House and Senate had already passed was a bad idea. The best solution forward, the House passes the Senate bill while the Senate passes the conference committee agreed upon changes through reconciliation, was jettisoned by House members for some undiscernable reason.

But because it is a new week, the House has a new opinion, and all is well in health care reform again.

But for the first time since last Tuesday's special election in Massachusetts, it's clear that they're coalescing around the most widely discussed option: moving ahead with the Senate bill once it's clear that it will be changed through the filibuster-proof reconciliation process. Before they can move ahead, they need the Senate to make some real headway on their end of the bargain--and they're not getting the signs they need.

"I thought we could get the votes in the House to pass the [Senate] bill if fixes to the Senate bill can be done," House Majority Whip James Clyburn (D-SC) told reporters today.

"That would be a good option as far as I'm concerned," said Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL), leader of the House progressives' health care task force. "I could support it. Reconciliation. Majority rule."

Finally. How about it Senate? Just pass the ideas you had already agreed to support in the conference committee through reconciliation and we can bang out this bill and have it signed by next week?

The Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, deflected questions about health care. “We’re not on health care now,” Mr. Reid said. “We’ve talked a lot about it in the past.”

He added, “There is no rush,” and noted that Congress still had most of this year to work on the health bills passed in 2009 by the Senate and the House.

Great job, Harry. Make sure to also thank Landrieu, Bayh, Lincoln, Lieberman, Pryor, Begich, Nelson, and McCaskill, who have all come out a bitched to various degrees about using reconciliation to vote for something they would have voted for had Martha Coakley been elected. But the beauty of reconciliation is that those 8 assholes, plus one more asshole can be jettisoned and the reconciliation bill can still be passed. So of course there's movement on making sure health care is passed, right?

No, most of the Senate is content to sit around and go "rush, what rush" and dick around supporting the easy and obvious thing to do to get health care reform passed. I'm sure that'll change next week... at which point the House will invariably have a problem. And on and on and on until somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 million people have their heads explode from the inanity of their elected betters, thus solving the uninsured crisis.

So just a word of thanks to Congress. You may be slow on action and bad at legislating, but you are experts at dicking around, blame shifting, kicking back, and fucking around. Here's to the next seven dramatic shifts in the health reform battle. Seven dramatic reversals, that's all I can deal with before I'm out.

Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.29

The High Drama Behind Reid's Public Option Decision
TPM gives the lowdown on how the White House and Harry Reid in the decision to put a public option in the Senate bill. Long story short: the WH told Reid they'd back him and it was his decision, Reid said he was "motherfuckin' goi' with the motherfuckin' public option", the WH asked if he was sure he had the votes, Reid said he did, the WH asked if he was sure he was sure he had the votes. Reid repeated yes, then strutted out of the Oval Office jauntily whereupon he was kneed in the groin by Joe Lieberman. President Obama is reported to have then preceded to give the definitive "fail facepalm" as a little piece of him died inside.

Victory for Obama Over Military Lobby
How might you ask does signing a $680 billion dollar defense spending bill that increases spending from the previous yea constitute a win? Uhhh....because military/defense lobbyists and M-16 humpers in Congress only got most of what they wanted instead of all of what they wanted. I'll throw the parade. Remember that we'll easily fork over $680 billion a year plus God knows what else for our two ongoing wars and give little thought to it. But try to spend $900 billion over a decade plus in an attempt to give people health care? Whoa buddy, you're out of your fucking mind.

Climate Change Caused Radical North Sea Shift
It seems that because of the effects of climate change on the North Sea, the ecological makeup of the area has changed, radically altering the food chain and sea based businesses. Which is fine if you think the jellyfish market is going to replace the cod market, but bad otherwise for tose who believe massive rapid ecological changes are a bad thing. Someone want to wrap this study around a brick and throw it through Jim Inhofe's front window? Does anyone know the number of a good discount masonry supplier?

Inside Astronaut Boot Camp
Popular Science takes a look at the preparations and people who are looking to be the first people in 40 years to go out further than the space station, out towards our enemy the moon. Because that's America's new space ambition: to re-do stuff that NASA already did decades ago. Marvel as the astronauts learn to drive moon buggies and laugh as a drunk Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stumble onto the test course to heap withering abuse on what they've dubbed "Team Bitch". The only thing standing in these new astronaut's way, besides an inebriated Buzz Aldrin waving a golf club and muttering about "punks copying his shit"? That whole funding thing. Whoops, don't have that yet.

Health Care Budgeting 101: Congress’ Fiscal Scolds Earn an “F-”
FDL looks at how Blue Dog Democrats, all in the name of "fiscal accountability", have decided (and succeeded in getting) that the cost of the original House bill was too high, so in order to cut it down.....they weakened and gutted provisions that would have cut the deficit, saved money, and reduced health care costs. As always, they want to save money in the short term at the expense of costing us gobs more in the future. So just remember, anytime you hear some Blue Dog idiot droning on about "fiscal responsibility" or the deficit or some such shit, what they're really saying is that they're an idiot who doesn't understand basic economics and that they need to have their head held under water until the twitching stops.

Harry has got problems, man

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, gettin' all third person when discussing Joe Lieberman deciding he'll filibuster health care reform

"Joe Lieberman is the least of Harry Reid's problems," Reid told reporters at his weekly press conference.

I'll say. I can think of a few expletive filled ones off the top of my head. Not that I want to pile on Harry Reid and his mistakes after his latest staggering failure. These are, after all, mistakes we all made when we heard him say that a public option was in the Senate bill. I mean when we all heard him announce it a few days back, I made the assumption, like most others, that he had made some hoary, evil blood pact with the pig molesters, avowed pederasts, and spineless insects that populate the Nelson/Lincoln/Landrieu/Bayh/Lieberman end of the caucus to actually do something crazy, like letting a bill with the overwhelming support of Democrats in Congress get voted on. No, that seems like it was a bridge too far.

But that isn't Reid's problem. No, the problem Reid has that's bigger than Lieberman, is his staggering inability to count. Or, at least be able to count to 60. We've all been there one time or another, where our massively important plans were ruined when the lack of basic counting and math skills conspired to derail them. Granted, it was when we were four, but there we are. And it happened to Harry Reid too, when he announced he was moving forward on legislation without checking to see if the waffling cretins in his caucus were on board. Naively thinking that people who were elected as Democrats would actually find Democratic priorities important. But that's the sad end point we've reached with Democratic leadership: we can't even rely on them to have basic counting skills. Abilities that five year olds possess are just out of the reach of our elected betters.

So sorry, we don't get to move on to other things, like climate change, getting angry over the same cast of characters fucking up on that bill. Nope, still stuck on health care, as the Senate decides that the compromise of a compromise of a compromise......probably needs two or three more compromises in there. Maybe four. Get excited!

Your afternoon cryptic comment on health care

From TPM, comes this little gem about Majority Leader Harry Reid's 3:15 press conference where he will announce that the public option will make it into the Senate health reform bill with an "opt-out" clause for states...or not. Because we need another cryptic layer of intrigue in the health debate. Maybe he'll announce that he tried hard but can't get it in, or that there will be some sort of public option "trigger", or that he'll be running for re-election as a woman. Who knows?

Democrats are being very tight lipped today about exactly what Reid will say, but are suggesting strongly that there will be news.

Gee, you think? Until such a time as that alleged news happens These Bastards just wants to strongly wish Harriet Reid success in her gender re-assignment surgery and upcoming re-election campaign. Solidarity, sister.

EDIT: Opt out public option. And he'll be running for re-election in a giant furry wolf suit.

Hmm, enacting health reform early...sounds like a crazy idea

How fait accompli is some kind of health reform right now? Well, it's basically to the point where everyone glosses over tiny things like the White House opposing the public option in the Senate and Harry Reid having to lead the way on his own and just moves on to a debate about how soon to implement health reform proposals. Because how can you be expected to get re-elected or reap the popularity of health care reform in 2010 if it doesn't kick in until 2013? There's also something about helping people in need and providing much needed relief in what is actually a life or death situation for blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

The most significant changes to the health care system wouldn’t kick in until 2013 – two election cycles away. With Republicans expected to make next year a referendum on health care reform, Democrats are quietly lobbying to push up the effective dates on popular programs, so they'll have something to run on in the congressional midterms.

Democrats are anxious to mix the good with the bad since some of the pain would be phased in early, including more than $100 billion in industry fees that critics say could be passed on to consumers.

“We want to be able, within the cost framework and the implementation framework, to have as much start as early as possible, even though we know all of it can’t,” said Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.), a Finance Committee member who is working with other senators on the effort. “And the White House wants to have as much as possible to start.”

Among the proposals: make prescription drug discounts available to seniors as well as start randomly adding poisons into those drugs as part of the "death panel" program, tax credits for small businesses, a high risk pool for filth with pre-existing conditions like rape, low birth-weight, or high birth-weight, and money to hire ILM to do enough CG and special effects work to make it look like the severely underwhelming minor tweaks to our system were a massive overhaul and top to bottom reforming of American health care.

Of course there is opposition to these efforts. Sen John Cornyn (R-TX) argues that this is just a seedy and transparent attempt to get people to see the benefit of the legislation by letting them, you know, enroll in programs and get coverage. Plus there's that unfair election advantage where people might be fit to reward Democrats and punish Republicans just because one made an attempt at reform while the other shrieked about grandma getting ganked. And really that's what this all comes down to: elections. Because isn't that the whole point of doing something like this: so one can get re-elected and look good politically? It's certainly not about providing the best and cheapest plan and reforms to cover the American people, so the process of elimination only really leaves politics.

Your morning cryptic quote about health care

After a late afternoon flurry of quotes and stories about how things might be looking up for the public option in the Senate bill, and that Harry Reid had made a decision to include it in the bill, someone from Reid's office stepped forward to offer an update on the status of his mind.

ABC reported today that they have the goods, citing Democratic sources and claiming Reid “has concluded he can pass a bill with a public option.” ABC said Reid is now convinced that even if some moderates are still holding out against it, they will ultimately vote for it on the procedural vote to get it past a filibuster.

Not so much, the senior Senate aide claims. “He has not concluded anything yet,” the aide said of Reid. “But he is more optimistic.”

It's not quite a full "we're leaning towards talking about a public option" on the Reid Zen-meter, but yet another time in which we're supposed to gauge the esoteric status updates of the Majority Leader's mind to decide whether or not we we should be jumping off of bridges over the public option. But such are the arcane measures of the Senate, where Olympia Snowe talks about using a public option 'trigger' as a means of securing her vote and then tells everyone that she won't vote for a bill with any public option when it looks like at the very least a 'trigger' will be in.

But there we are. Daily updates from Reid about the possibilities of maybes, extensive discussions on talking about talking, how you 'like-like' a public option but don't 'like-like' it, and various and sundry texts about conclusions and your state of mind, are considered positive signals to everyone about your leadership and stewardship of the Senate negotiations, such as it is. This just in: Reid is looking into the option of considering calling a quorum to gauge support for whether he has enough votes for the discussion on the question of declaring Opposite Day before any final health care vote. Maybe. I hope all this bullshit leads somewhere productive and nottowards the most obvious conclusion: "Ohhh we tried, for serious, but we'll just have to accept the milquetoast reform you all knew we were going to pass months ago. Honest, we made an attempt. Didn't you see all those quotes about 'maybes' and 'conclusions' and discussing discussions? Too bad, no public option."

Your morning cryptic quote about health care

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, giving a master class on how not to inspire confidence on health care

A reporter tried to pin Reid down by asking whether negotiations were moving towards, or against, the inclusion of the public plan.

“The negotiations are leaning about a public option,” Reid said.

Asked for clarification by puzzled reporters, Reid added: “We’re leaning towards talking about a public option.”

....Good? I guess that's a positive.....or a negative.....or....what? Leaning towards talking about a public option? A debate over over whether to have a debate?

Sen. Tom Harkin is saying there's 52 solid votes for a public option in the Senate. But because everything is filibustered now that means to add a public option into the bill on the floor, the public option has to have 60 votes for it or against it to get it in or out. Which it doesn't in either case. So in other words: the public option has to be in there before it gets to the floor or else it isn't ever going to get in. So...I guess it's good that they're at least working up the guts to have a talk about possibly considering a debate about the run up to having an opinion about possibly putting a public option in. Maybe.

I guess that's as positive a statement as you can get about Democratic leadership these days: they at least haven't ruled out the best option for actual reform and coverage that vast majorities of the American people, their own party, and their own elected members support. Let's lean towards talking about not hitting them with sticks.

Pollings

Next time a Senator tries to tell the public that there just isn't support for a public option, they can only pass a week kneed version, or that American's don't want one, I hope someone there has the good decency to spit in their eye. The only people who are opposed to the public option are in the Senate.

On the issue that has been a flash point in the national debate, 57 percent of all Americans now favor a public insurance option, while 40 percent are opposed. Support has risen since mid-August, when a bare majority, 52 percent, said they favored it. (In a June Post-ABC poll, support had been at 62 percent.)

If run by the states and available only to those who lack affordable private options, support for a public plan jumps to 76 percent. Under those circumstances, even a majority of Republicans, 56 percent, would be supportive, about double their level of support without such a limitation.

Furthermore 56% favor making it mandatory for all Americans to buy insurance with the number jumping to 71% if government provides subsidies for lower income folks. Of note is the fact that the poll also asked specifically if people would prefer a public option bill with no Republican support or a bipartisan bill with no public option. The public option beat bipartisanship 51% to 37%. Americans prefer a good bill to the Senate wanking itself off. I think I just heard Max Baucus die a little inside.

With news like this, Nancy Pelosi attempting to shame the Senate into a public option bill using CBO numbers as a bludgeon, 52 Democratic Senators thinking that maybe the five holdouts ought to get the fuck onboard, and rumors of competence from Harry Reid, is it too much to get my hopes up? Probably yes, as on the other hand Reid is Reid, Obama lost his balls somewhere during his acceptance speech, and Senate negotiations involve one actual human who is unequivocally for the public option and knows how to breathe through his nostrils. As is always the case with the Senate: lower your expectations. Lower them to the point where Max Baucus coming to burn down your house is a pleasant surprise. It's the only way to keep sane.

We'll get back to you on that

Harry Reid, in an baffling display of balls and a peculiar interest in Democratic priorities, took it upon himself to ask the Obama Administration when they'd like to get a start on that whole 'no gays in the military' thing that we like to use to make sure we have no Arabic translators. National Security Adviser Jim Jones (BALLIN'!) decided that hemming and hawing was the best way to answer the question.

JONES: The President has an awful lot on his desk. I know this is an issue that he intends to take on at the appropriate time.
...
KING: No idea when the right time is?

JONES: Um, I don’t think it’s going to be — it’s not years, but I think it will be teed up appropriately.

Missing from the transcript is the part where Jim Jones (Na Na NaNa Na Na!) nervously tugs at his collar, then throws a bunch of papers into the air and runs out of the studio yelling about how "something important came up." I forget, is it a positive sign when instead of saying something will happen on gay rights issues, someone starts talking about the "right time"? Especially when everyone knows the "right time" to take on any type of gay rights issue in Washington is never? Very courageous, especially since it came on the heels of a Pentagon report saying that repealing DADA would have no effect on the morale of effectiveness of troops. But how would Jones have known that? I mean it's not like the National Security Adviser deals with the Pentagon or that he ever dealt with the Pentagon in his previous job as a 4 star Marine General.

Still though, getting outflanked by Harry Reid...is there no lower place to sink?

Hey wonderful

Finally some good news. Senate Democrats have come out and stated, definitively, that there will be a public option in any final bill that comes out of Congress. Alright boys, way to show some conviction!

Senate Democratic leaders signaled Thursday that their version of health care overhaul will include some form of a public option,

Wonderful to hear. This is apropos of nothing, but I wonder why Politico used a comma to end that sentence up there. That was weird. Hmmm.

, but it may be limited in scope so they can secure 60 votes to break a Republican filibuster.

Ahhh! You rotten sons of bitches. You're doing it again. You're failing again. You see...wait, what? You have something to say Harry Reid?

"We are going to have a public option before this bill goes to the president's desk," Reid said in a conference call with constituents, referring to some kind of government plan.

"I believe the public option is so vitally important to create a level playing field and prevent the insurance companies from taking advantage of us," he said.

Oh good, because earlier it seemed like you were loading up statements like that with tons of caveats and...

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) called the public option a "relative term," and Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) said, "There is not one way to Rome; there are lots of ways to Rome."

"Remember, a public option is a relative term," Reid said. "There's a public option, there's a public option, and there's a public option. And we're going to look at each of them."

Oh Jesus Christ, stop talking! Nothing you say is good, nothing you do is good. I choose to understand these statements the way I would understand statements from a suave Gruber-esque German terrorist who tells me that he will let me and my family go......if I just give him the codes to the mainframe. I know what's he's saying should sound good, but I just can't shake the feeling that the second I listen, we'll all be murdered violently.

So when Reid says "relative term" and starts trying to parse out degrees of public options, that just means something terrible is on the horizon. In fact, that might mean health care isn't even going to happen at all. The only way to rectify this is to throw Harry Reid off the top of Nakatomi Tower before he kills us all. You know I'm right.

Quote of the weekend

MP David Cameron, British Conservative leader, on health care and defending the UK's NHS from attacks by the American right:

In an email to Conservative Party workers, details which were published on his blog, Mr Cameron said millions of people, including his own family, were grateful for care they had received from the NHS.
...
"It is a reminder - as if one were needed - of how proud we in Britain are of the NHS.

Mr Cameron's intervention in the ongoing row in the United States, which has partially focused on the British health system, came after Gordon Brown joined a Twitter campaign to defend it.
...
Mr Cameron's intervention came after he rebuked Daniel Hannan, the Conservative MEP, for endorsing American criticisms of the NHS.

Mr Cameron said Mr Hannan was wrong in his criticism of the NHS. Andrew Lansley, the Conservative shadow health secretary, accused the MEP of presenting a “negative and partial” view of the NHS in his contribution to the US debate about health care.

A conservative...defending outright socialism? You know, I think I much prefer British conservatives to the US ones. In fact I think I might prefer British Tories to US Democrats. Anyone in the UK up for a trade? David Cameron and a crate of tea for Harry Reid, Max Baucus, a promise to watch the Premier League, and a pie to be named later. We promise not to throw the tea into any harbors, causeways, bays, rivers, lakes, or pools and you have to keep Reid and Baucus subdued and out of North America for a minimum of two years. Deal?