Cheap Blogging Crutch 10.20

Stumping With Mayor, Giuliani Stirs Old Fears
While earlier we were marveling at Glenn Beck's ability to weave conspiracy out of nothing, sometimes you have to show a little respect for the masters of the old arts. Like engendering fear of anyone with darker skin than the Irish. So please, a little respect for Nounverb9/11 Giuliani, who hit the stage for NY Mayor Bloomberg to remind people of the fear they used to fear walking the streets at night, pausing then intoning You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He then paused again, scanned the room and said "You know....BLACKS!!!" He then left to go dig up the corpse of a 9/11 victim so he could rummage through the pockets for any loose change or paper money.

Barnes & Noble’s Kindle Killing, Dual Screen ‘Nook’ E-Reader Leaked
Hey, can you hear that sound? It's Amazon shitting its pants over a new e-reader that is not only designed well, but is going to be linked to a Barnes & Noble operation that will sell e-books cheaper, be able to use books from the Google books project, and will let you lend e-books to friends. Lend them. That's it, game over Amazon, game over. If this thing can show porn, they can lure the lucrative 18-54 high tech pervert market. Which is to say, Sean and myself. He's been hankering for a well designed way to watch hardcore porn on the subway for years. Those nuns he sits next to won't know what hit them.

Wall St. Giants Reluctant to Donate to Democrats
Awww, and after they've done so much for the Wall Street community. Actually, this states that they aren't so much as reluctant to donate to Democrats, but to donate to them in public. Which shows they've learned something. Shame they haven't learned anything about banking, financial markets, or sanity. Still only half a dozen Goldman-Sachs execs are going to be at a Democratic Party fundraiser with President Obama. That sounds low, but you have to remember that most Goldman execs already have jobs working in the administration.

Secret Service strained as leaders face more threats
I guess we expected this when we elected a black guy, but it's always nice to see your predictions that American racist extremists would show themselves in great numbers come horrifyingly true. In fact the Secret Service is so strained at investigating racists that there's talk of them abandoning their counterfeiting and financial crimes work to concentrate on the freaks. That's always good to hear that a protective agency is so overworked from an overwhelming number of crazies. America! America! God shed his grace on thee. And crown thy good with brotherhood. From sea to shining sea!

Defense Department Opposed Franken's Anti-Rape Amendment
Charming. As if it wasn't enough that 30 white conservative men thought that allowing people to prosecute rape and sexual abuse as, you know, crimes, was too onerous a burden to the field of contract law, we need the Defense Department to second that motion. Oh, they swear they're totally against rape, it's just that enforcing Franken's law would be totally hard. Well then, if that's the case let's just keep contractor rape legal. We wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone.