We need to start a new war

What with the revelation that Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Nigerian terrorist who thought that the US would notice death and destruction in Detroit, had ties to terrorist networks in Yemen, it was only a matter of time before it was made clear to us that Yemen was a place that definitely needed a war started in it. As if on cue Joe Lieberman, a man only good for advocating for new ill thought out wars and stopping things that might benefit actual humans, was right out there telling us all how good America would look in a third war.

Sen. Joseph Lieberman, (I-Conn) a renowned hawk and one of the foremost champions of the invasion of Iraq, warned on Sunday that the United States faced "danger" unless it pre-emptively acts to curb the rise of terrorism in Yemen.

"Somebody in our government said to me in Sana'a, the capital of Yemen, Iraq was yesterday's war. Afghanistan is today's war. If we don't act preemptively, Yemen will be tomorrow's war," Lieberman said, during an appearance on "Fox News Sunday". "That's the danger we face."

Compelling. If we don't start a war in Yemen today, we'll have to start a war in Yemen in the future. Makes sense to me. All I want to know is when we can start calling for a surge in Yemen.

I am worried though. How will Joe Lieberman's imaginary war in Yemen affect our imaginary war in Iran? I'm sure Joe wouldn't want a new imaginary war to take away from our theoretical war efforts in Iran that he has advocated for so long, but I'm concerned with the sheer weight, scope, and toll that so many fanciful "brown people go kaboom" conflicts are having. Is America mentally strong enough to have so many hypothetical wars to fight alongside our real ones?

Thankfully we don't have to grapple with such esoteric concerns. No, such serious thoughts are reserved for the very smart men in our government who think that the only solution to any terrorist threat is a bombing run or full scale military conflict in the country that can most easily be linked to said terrorist. Men like Joe Lieberman. Thank God we have him out there, advocating for dozens upon dozens of new wars.