Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Broken In Brief: Climate Change Conference takes step toward gaining ground on making strides

Above: Pretty much everywhere in a few decades

COPENHAGEN--Delegates from around the world hailed a major step forward in the international climate change talks currently underway in Denmark. Several sources have confirmed that, pending a final vote that would authorize a secret ballot initiative that is likely to approve floor discussion of a measure aimed at constructing a platform for civil discourse, headway is likely to be made.

"We are extremely excited by this chance to maybe consider debating the wisdom in further discussing the likelihood of meaningful action," gushed host country representative, Sven Bjerregaard.

While many warned that such unbridled optimism at the prospect of the world's industrialized nations agreeing on marking actual progress as their goal, others enthusiastically cheered the notion that the participants might forge ahead, perhaps even in the general direction of increased improvement and the betterment of momentum.

Said one representative, on condition of probable conditional immunity, "I, for one, laud this consideration of the otherwise outlandish idea that, once ratified, might well lead us to deliberating the conditions under which we may all potentially come together and enumerate many of the concerns we share about the wisdom of discussion."

Some skeptics noted that while they were tentatively wary of possibly forming any premature opinions on the future attainability of any proposed possibilities for conceivable scenarios, that they would be waiting for a full report from the Committee on Viable Alternatives for Proceeding Forward on Covering Ground before making any concrete decisions.

"We just want to make sure we've done our due diligence on our dotting the i's and crossing the t's over our meticulous vigilance on the capacity for effective action on the potential of reachable ideals," said Josef Gustavsson, mopping his brow and looking up at the sun. "Christ is it hot out here, or what? Isn't it, like, December? Ah well, back inside. I hear the Dutch have an interim proposal on the viability of exploring corner-turning."

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