Monday, December 14, 2009

Broken In Brief: After questioning the "warming" and "science" behind global warming science, skeptics question the "global" part

COPENHAGEN—After spending the better part of the last few decades attacking the validity of scientific reports on carbon emissions and temperature trends, not to mention the basic assumption that the planet was warming, today climate change skeptics declared war on the very concept that this problem was happening worldwide.

“Yeah, so, like, if we don’t go after the ‘global’ part of ‘global warming science’, we’re conceding a full one-third of the argument,” argued Cal Hennings, spokesman for the Association of Climate Skeptics Who Are Only Partially Funded by Energy Conglomerates.

“I’m not sure how we’re going to do it, but it did take us years to hone in on the right argument to discredit warming temperature trends. Who can forget the majesty of ‘But it’s cold out right now, how can things be warming’? Maybe something like ‘It’s cold out right now at this particular geographic location, so how could this be happening globally’? We’ll hash it out later.”

They were also quick to note that if the environmental community persisted in its commitment to the phrase “climate change” that they were already committed to trying to discredit the basic meaning of the word climate.

“What does ‘climate’ even mean, anyway?” snorted Hennings. “Hmmph. Elitist scientific classifications.”

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