God and health care

You thought that just because the Senate health care debate was over that the time had finally passed where you could read a paper or watch TV without seeing some asinine plea to God or biblical allegory told for why you should oppose health care reform? Stuff like Chuck Norris intimating that Mary wanted to abort Jesus but didn't because she couldn't find an easy and cost effective way?

Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington's wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?

You thought that stupid shit was over? You dumb bastards. You forgot about the lamentations over the voting.

Huckabee says the vote on health care reform is a pivotal moment in American history, and he took Nebraska Sen. Ben Nelson to task for deciding to support the measure.

Huckabee went so far as to compare Nelson to Judas in the biblical story of Jesus' betrayal. He said the last time a deal like the one Nelson negotiated with Democratic leaders was when "30 pieces of silver exchanged hands."

Hell, you forgot the calls to pray that some Democrat drops dead on the way to the health care vote.

Speaking against the health care bill on the Senate floor just moments ago, Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) expressed his hope that a Senator of the majority caucus would not be able to make the vote:

"What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That’s what they ought to pray."

There's no confirmation to reports that various GOP Senators were hiding behind pillars and coat racks in hopes of jumping out and yelling "Boo!" as the 92 year-old Sen. Robert Byrd passed by. I would just like to let Sen. Coburn know that we here at These Bastards would like to extend the same "drop dead" courtesy to you. If you wish to be struck down by lightning or trampled by a rampaging elephant we are amenable to those ideas, though we would instead prefer the scenario "Afflicted by a rare debilitating virus, dropped from health insurance, forced into medical bankruptcy, and finally dropping dead."

I'm sorry to report that even though you thought our elected betters, pundits, and bearded karate superstars had moved on from simplistic scaremongering and Jesus invoking on health care and were merely awaiting the next legislative priority to invoke all sorts of new simplistic scaremongering and Jesus invoking, well, they haven't. You still are supposed to pray that any attempt to make your health care scenario a little easier be defeated and if you don't, you'll be killed by the New Herod or branded as the greatest betrayer in human history. Apologies abounds, but we're still stuck on stupid on health care. It'll be a few more weeks before we can move on to hearing the reasons why Jesus doesn't want the government to act on jobs or the environment. I await it eagerly.