I knew we shouldn't have allowed Obama to use time travel

We often accuse the GOP and it's leadership of being wanton liars who are ignorant of history and who will spin a complete falsehood about anything at any time because... well... they are and they do. It's fairly straightforward. It's not so much an accusation as a "pointing out".

Which leads me to comical punchline in waiting, RNC Chairman Michael Steele. Not one to led a good media crisis about Afghanistan go to waste, he decided to cancel his book tour or speaking engagements or whatever it is he does when he's supposed to be running the RNC, to knock Obama for the McChrystal thing. But because he's Michael Steele and because he's incapable of making criticism based on actual evens, he decided to descend into a Little Nemo-like dream kingdom to criticize the fantastical history of that imaginary land.

"The McChrystal incident, to me, was very comical. And I think it's a reflection of the frustration that a lot of our military leaders have with this Administration and their prosecution of the war in Afghanistan," said Steele. "Keep in mind again, federal candidates, this was a war of Obama's choosing. This is not something the United States had actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in."

I think we all remember that sad day back in 2001 when President Obama burst out of a time-traveling DeLorean, knocked President Bush away from his podium during a n address to a joint session of Congress, declared his right as "Future Leader" to declare war on Afghanistan, declared war on Afghanistan, and then banged a nearby gavel making it all official and legally binding. OBAMA CHOSE THIS WAR AND REPUBLICANS HAVE ALWAYS OPPOSED IT!

Or, you know, was handed it about 8 years in, was told "I know we haven't paid much attention to this other war, but it's fostered the destabilization of Pakistan and could result in a failed nuclear state and a resurgent Al Qaeda. Well.... bye, I've got a BBQ to hit up in Crawford." And yeah, I think this is a war Republicans especially wanted prosecuted, because it was the war we engaged in to get revenge on that whole 9/11 thing. The war in Iraq was the one that this country wasn't fully on board with. Maybe, that whole "actively prosecuted" statement was a crack at how the Bush Administration completely ignored Afghanistan once they figured out they could start one in Iraq.

Still, I know I'll get accused of being part of the "Blame Bush" crowd, just because I point out the things he's responsible for, but yeah, he's the one that started up the war. Obama's continuing it because he thinks there's a strategic value in a stable Afghanistan and Paksitan... oh and because your party will call him a fag if he pulls one soldier out. Criticize that line of thought if you want to, but can we not invent an alternate reality where Bruce Wayne's parents lived, Hitler was killed in WWI, and Obama invaded Afghanistan? No? I'm going to have to hear this bullshit a lot from your side, right? I thought so. Carry on.

We need to start a new war

What with the revelation that Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Nigerian terrorist who thought that the US would notice death and destruction in Detroit, had ties to terrorist networks in Yemen, it was only a matter of time before it was made clear to us that Yemen was a place that definitely needed a war started in it. As if on cue Joe Lieberman, a man only good for advocating for new ill thought out wars and stopping things that might benefit actual humans, was right out there telling us all how good America would look in a third war.

Sen. Joseph Lieberman, (I-Conn) a renowned hawk and one of the foremost champions of the invasion of Iraq, warned on Sunday that the United States faced "danger" unless it pre-emptively acts to curb the rise of terrorism in Yemen.

"Somebody in our government said to me in Sana'a, the capital of Yemen, Iraq was yesterday's war. Afghanistan is today's war. If we don't act preemptively, Yemen will be tomorrow's war," Lieberman said, during an appearance on "Fox News Sunday". "That's the danger we face."

Compelling. If we don't start a war in Yemen today, we'll have to start a war in Yemen in the future. Makes sense to me. All I want to know is when we can start calling for a surge in Yemen.

I am worried though. How will Joe Lieberman's imaginary war in Yemen affect our imaginary war in Iran? I'm sure Joe wouldn't want a new imaginary war to take away from our theoretical war efforts in Iran that he has advocated for so long, but I'm concerned with the sheer weight, scope, and toll that so many fanciful "brown people go kaboom" conflicts are having. Is America mentally strong enough to have so many hypothetical wars to fight alongside our real ones?

Thankfully we don't have to grapple with such esoteric concerns. No, such serious thoughts are reserved for the very smart men in our government who think that the only solution to any terrorist threat is a bombing run or full scale military conflict in the country that can most easily be linked to said terrorist. Men like Joe Lieberman. Thank God we have him out there, advocating for dozens upon dozens of new wars.

Important questions

Now that the government is in the process of bailing out GM and helping them through the bankruptcy process, finally people are starting to ask the important questions. Namely: how fast can I politicize this? Lamar Alexander was first out of the gate.

"Skeptics say that despite the government's pledge to stay out of the way, the process is going to get messy.

'I think where GM builds its next plant is going to be more of a political decision than a business decision," said Rep. Pete Hoekstra, a Republican from western Michigan. "For the foreseeable future, these car companies will be run by the Obama administration, and it will not be arm's length.'"

That's right, with GM set to shutter 12 to 20 factories, Lamar is already worried about where the next factory is going to be built. Not only that, but he's worried that where to place this fictional new factory in some far flung future has already been irrevocably politicized by the Obama Administration. That son of a bitch Barack might not even want to build plants in Lamar's home state of Tennessee. He'll probably politicize things further by building these fictional plants in places like Michigan or even Detroit.

I had high hopes for Obama, but it turns out he's just like every other Democrat: recklessly politicizing the imaginary fantasies of Republican lawmakers.