Thursday, December 10, 2009

Nobel speechishness

Today our President got his Nobel Prize for Excellence in the Field of Not Being George W. Bush. He talked about humility, gratitude, and feeling he was not up to the standards of previous winners. But because some wags in the world community refer to this prize by it's alternate name, the Nobel Peace Prize, Barry was forced to discuss the fact that he's accepting an award for peace while escalating a war. Awk-waaaaaard.
“We must begin by acknowledging the hard truth,” Mr. Obama said. “We will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes. There will be times when nations — acting individually or in concert — will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified.”
“Whatever mistakes we have made, the plain fact is this,” Mr. Obama said. “The United States of America has helped underwrite global security for more than six decades with the blood of our citizens and the strength of our arms.”
“The goal is not to win a popularity contest or to get an award — even one as esteemed as the Nobel Peace Prize,” Mr. Obama said. “The goal is to advance American interests, make ourselves a continuing force for good in the world — something that we have been for decades now.”
Ah yes, going in front of the Nobel Committee to declare that, sure, war is bad, but you're different because, unlike all those other assholes, you're fighting a "just war." Nicely played, I'm sure only everyone who ever started or escalated a war in the entire recorded history of man would make that argument. At the very least it, this speech must have set the record for most saber rattling during a humanitarian award speech, narrowly beating out Gandhi's declaration that he'd "beat the fuck out of any Englishman who looked at him cockeyed" after his 1937 nomination to the Nobel short-list.

But one must appreciate the balls of the President to go to the Nobel ceremony and call them all naive for not believing enough in the power of war and military action to make peace. And what better example than America? Other than most of the wars in the post-WWII period that were fought for political reasons to the benefit of no one and discounting nearly every action of the CIA, America has certainly been the shining example of peace through military might. The sooner they understand that the sooner they stop snickering when you mention that you're going to throw more billions and thousands of lives down a hole in order for little obvious gain.

So Barry got his award, justified the seeming disconnect between peace and war, and the Nobel committee achieved their goals of being photographed next to the hip black guy. On the bright side, his award acceptance speech probably vaulted him to the front of the list for the George Orwell War-is-Peace Prize. I can't wait for that speech.

No comments: