G20: Day One

Ahh Pittsburgh, it was a busy first day for as the center of the free world/magnet for trust fund anarchists. Protesters decided to riot and destroy things in Lawrenceville, but given the fact that it was Lawrenceville, failed to damage anything that urban blight hadn't taken care of. Handy tip for next time protesters: want to get us riled up, then go after Squirrel Hill or Heinz Field. Protesters decide to take their rage out on chain chicken restaurants, with Boston Market and KFC not being spared the wrath of spoiled upper middle class white kids. There was even a report on KDKA tv that the KFC got its windows busted out after a protester went inside and demanded a free meal, because he had left his wallet and ID at home in order to fight the man even harder, and was denied. It was also a day where the cops decided to honor one of the city's greatest sports heroes, when in tribute to Mario Lemieux, they arrested 66 people. Also, some leaders met or something to discuss something.

All in all it was a typical G20 kind of day, probably with muchmuchmuch less actual destruction/violence than during G8 summits and previous G20 summits. You might think things are going well. You would be thinking wrong.

The Pittsburgh G-20 Partnership welcomes world leaders with an array of locally-made gifts that represent the vitality and culture of Pittsburgh. The gift bags, which will be handed out to the top three members of each delegation, include:

-Art glass bowls custom crafted by Sewickley, Pa. glass artist Jeffrey Phelps in Pittsburgh's signature colors of black and gold

-Eco-friendly CD case (to hold CDs of local music legends) and Metal Steelers-themed bag

-Signed Pittsburgh Pirates Baseball Cap to commemorate a team that has been a part of Pittsburgh's love affair with professional sports for more than 100 years.

-The Pittsburgh Steelers Terrible Towel, made famous by the late Pittsburgh Steelers broadcaster Myron Cope.

Gah! Flog the Steelers and Black and Gold much? We almost let the leaders out of the city thinking we maybe had some class. Then we had to blight them with the Pirates and the towel we wave while we're drunk in parking lots and/or rioting at the G20. Who the fuck autographed the Pirates hat? I will say the G20 leaders probably know who's on that team about as much as we do. Come now, Yinzburgh, when London had this shindig do you think they were handing out Arsenal football jerseys and "100 Greatest Hooligan Riots" DVD's? Let them take a painting from the Warhol museum or something. Andy mass produced those things, there's plenty. Just remember that for the next time the G20 is here, or you know, if they upgrade us to the G8 based on how well they like the Donnie Iris and Joe Grushecky CD's they got. Fingers crossed.