Cheap Blogging Crutch 09.25

Banks fight to kill proposed consumer protection agency
This is part 3,874 in our Not Learning Anything: The Global Financial Apocalypse and You series, in which banks decide that since almost nonexistent and un-enforced regulation worked out so well for banks and the public at large last time, why not try to handicap any efforts to provide any new oversight. Sounds like a good plan. Maybe next go around we can have every bank fail, or at least be consolidated into one super bank. This seems like the smartest way to go.

Democrats Are Jarred by Drop In Fundraising, Complacency, Absence of Big Donors Cited
Yes Democrats, after a summer in which you spent all your time fucking over the priorities of your base, dicking around on health care, not doing all that much to overturn Bush terrorism policies, and generally just spitting in the face of people who would be willing to give you money, you want to say it's complacency that's making your coffers a little light. That's half right. It's complacency from Democratic leaders, who think they can piss on everyone's shoes and tell them it's raining, that's the reason people can't seem to find money for people who can't seem to find the time to try to do what they ran for election on.

Mount Vernon council distances itself from honor for talk-show host
This is odd. Who would have ever thought that there would be people who would be mortified that their mayor was going to honor Glenn Beck with a Glenn Beck Day and a key to the city? I mean who wouldn't want to tie that crazy albatross around your neck and promote the fact that America's foremost aardvark lover was born and raised in your fair town? Build a statue to him, he's earned it.

Water Found on the Moon
You thought the Fiji and Voss water people were insufferable beyond all belief, wait till you meet the Moon Water people who drink their water from a moon aquifer that has never even touched an atmosphere, let alone air impurities. That's right, the friggin' moon has friggin' water on it. Don't worry, they're going to investigate this in the best way they know how: by crashing a spacecraft called LCROSS into it. Eat it Japan! We're the moon smashing water kings now.

Ford China Plant: Automaker Will Build $490 Million Facility
That's how you rebuild the American car industry....by packing it up and putting it in Chongqing, which I'm pretty sure was named after the villain in Van Damme's Bloodsport. Let's see, they have a plant in China, with Chinese labor, making cars under Chinese manufacturing standards, for sale in the Chinese market. Those goddamn things must be so cheap they actually give you money to take one. But I guess Ford are the smart ones, they're the ones we didn't have to bail out.