Guess who's back?

Osama is back up in the house, droppin' a new mixtape. And the question is, why exactly couldn't he seem to get this released on 9/11? I mean that would be the most logical assholish move for him. Or was he simply showing a modicum of restraint? Whatever the case, he made sure to drop hints about current events so you were sure that it isn't a pre-recorded hoax and that you, the terrorism consumer, were getting the most bang for your Zionist oppressor buck. OBL not only mentioned President Obama, he mentioned his excitement for the new Twilight: New Moon trailer, the new Kentucky Grilled Chicken, and how the release of Terrell Owens from his beloved Dallas Cowboys didn't seem to affect them yesterday in their 34-21 defeat of Tampa.

Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden described President Barack Obama as "powerless" to stop the war in Afghanistan and threatened to step up guerrilla warfare there in a new audiotape released to mark the anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks in the United States.

In the 11-minute tape, addressed to the American people, bin Laden said Obama is only following the warlike policies of his predecessor George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney and he urged Americans to "liberate" themselves from the influence of "neo-conservatives and the Israeli lobby."
...
"The delay in your knowing those causes has cost you a lot without any result whatsoever," he said. "This position of yours, combined with some other injustices, pushed us to undertake the events of (Sept. 11)."

"Ask yourselves to determine your position: Is your security, your blood, your children, your money, your jobs, your homes, your economy, and your reputation dearer to you than the security of the Israelis, their children and their economy?" he said.

Burn. But still, if there's one thing we're less interested in than hearing from a terrorist who killed 3,000 Americans, it's hearing a history lesson from a terrorist who killed 3,000 Americans. Still, it's nice that you decided that the President was merely "powerless" to stop from escalating in Afghanistan or pulling out of Iraq. Hell, that's almost a tacit endorsement of his actions by al Qaeda standards......my God, the teabaggers were right!

Plus you just seem to be repeating yourself at this point. I mean how many times do we have to hear you say the same things over and over again? Just a suggestion for your next release: change it up. I mean after all, you are going to get to release dozens and dozens of more tapes, so you really want to hold our attention over the years as you still continue to be inexplicably free and our elected leaders continue to show no real interest in coming to get you. I think we've put you in the Castro program. We've given up trying to fuck with you or kill you, but every time you say something we'll complain about it while doing nothing. Then when you die of old age due to natural causes, possibly outliving several of the Presidents who swore to kill you, we'll pretend like it was a victory for freedom and America as well as a just punishment for an evil man. I'm just saying that you should try to make it interesting for us. Castro did. Excuse me, Castro does.