In all fairness, he lives in Tampa

Matthew and I have certainly done our fair share of Dumb. And so instead of admonishing those bravely stupid souls who routinely sacrifice dignity and the chance at gainful employment to bring a touch of chaos to your otherwise humdrum lives, we find it more karmically appropriate to reward them.

Hence the latest recipient of a TheseBastards Medal of Freedom,who hails from Madeira Beach, Florida, just south of Tampa.

MADEIRA BEACH — A 41-year-old man who witnesses said had been drinking since 9 a.m. was arrested Monday afternoon after authorities say he created a disturbance by pretending to drown and throw jellyfish on teenagers.

The accused, a Mr. Keith Edward Marriott, could not have achieved this monumental feat on his own. No, the clincher came from St. Petersburg Times Staff Writer Bryant James, who provides us with a line seen far, far too rarely in print. After explaining that Mr. Marriott allegedly faked his own drowning so as to lure would-be rescuers, James goes on to say...

Then he started throwing sea creatures.

Clearly, these two artists are at the top of their respective games. Our hats off to you, gentlemen. And especially to you, Mr. Marriot. You are truly one of god's own soldiers.