Wednesday, February 4, 2009

We deserve it, we elected Democrats

Dick Cheney's on the loose again, ready to jump out of the closet and say "Boo!" in an attempt to get us to shit ourselves. This time he's warning of terrorist attacks killing everyone we love because Democrats have weakened our defenses that were bearing so much positive fruit during the Bush years. Unclear if Cheney was on a street corner with a sandwich board with "THE END IS NEAR" printed on it yelling this or if someone really thought we needed to hear Dick Cheney's thoughts on why everyone will be killed if we even take a second to reconsider Bush policies.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney warned that there is a “high probability” that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in coming years, and said he fears the Obama administration’s policies will make it more likely the attempt will succeed.

In an interview Tuesday with Politico, Cheney unyieldingly defended the Bush administration’s support for the Guantanamo Bay prison and coercive interrogation of terrorism suspects.

And he asserted that President Obama will either backtrack on his stated intentions to end those policies or put the country at risk in ways more severe than most Americans — and, he charged, many members of Obama’s own team — understand.
Only Dick Cheney understands the dangers we face, except he didn't actually understand them enough to implement a single useful policy during eight years. But he did have a man sized safe. What he fails to understand is that many Americans would welcome a terrorist attack, the more dead the better. It'll be less competition out there for jobs, food, and the position as dominant ape in your post-apocalyptic tribe. Frankly if we want any shot of rebuilding after Bush's economic apocalypse we're going to need Obama to give us a nuclear apocalypse just to give us some breathing space to reassess and move forward.

It's a good article by any rate. You hear Cheney defend some indefensible policy that has hindered our attempts to fight terrorism or protect our borders and you can almost see him excitedly putting his hand up for a high five and holding it there for an awkward amount of time, before slowly lowering it and glaring at the interview who wouldn't hit him up high or down low. Most interesting were his thoughts on diplomacy (doesn't work), American prisons (somehow unable to handle Arab terrorists), the McRib sandwich (a taste explosion in his mouth), and his grandchildren (they're going to get a lot of spankings and time in the shame closet).

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