Priced to own

In what is surely the surest sign of a depressed economy, it turns out that Crawford Texas, fake home of our scamp in chief, is going through a bit of an economic downturn. It seems there just isn't a market for kitschy, cheap shit with Bush's face and "Western White House" slathered on it. Luckily for you, if you want to build that monument to the absentee landlord presidency you'll be able to do it at deeply discounted prices.

Already a couple of souvenir shops in Crawford have closed as the Bush boom started to peter out over the past year and as the nation turned its attention on the new race for the White House. For the two remaining shops, things have slowed to a trickle.

There's up to 30 per cent off prices at the Yellow Rose, a cavernous place on the corner of the main intersection in town. Mugs, T-shirts and beer coolers badged with a presidential seal and the words "western White House" are flanked by life-sized cardboard cutouts of the President. Businessman Billy Johnson, 67, wearing a cowboy hat, jeans and boots, says he hopes the tourists will keep coming.

"You never know," he says, adding that he is just a steward of the store. Who owns it then? "He does," he says in a Texas drawl and pointing skyward.

"You can't tell what is going to happen next, we are kind of playing it by ear."

So goes the heartbreaking story from the Australian, America's source for Crawford gift shop news. So I want you all to pause, pour a little out of your 40 of OE, and mourn the passing of an industry. No more easy money off of "Western White House" hats, "Impeach Bush" mugs, or some shirt with the gruesome visage of Dick "Dick" Cheney. Crawford is just the tip of the iceberg, this downturn could affect upwards of a dozen people. So buy up those discounted angry t-shirts now, it'll be a few weeks before Obama provides enough material for a non-racist sarcastic bumper sticker.