Four more years! (not really)

First there was theft, then there was justice, now there is The Funny. Jack Abramoff got spanked with a(nother) sentence today, to the tune of four more years. None of those years will count, however, as the honorable Ellen S. Huvelle ruled that these four can be served concurrently with the four years remaining on Abramoff's six-year sentence received for pleading guilty in 2006 to scamming American Indian tribes out of millions of dollars, touching little boys, corrupting public officials, and generally being the singular incarnation of everything that is wrong with humanity.

The moral of the story, children, is that if you're going to break one law, you might as well break a shitload of them. If caught, immediately rat out all your friends and repair to a minimum security penitentiary for a few years of deep self-reflection and Talmudic study. You might even get to bunk with Bob Ney, who, for the record, has stopped demanding that he always be outside spoon.